shrift being shrifty, in Natter:

Huh. I just bopped down the street for some lunch, and two young women were handing out free flowers. Red roses, to be exact, no doubt to promote a flower shop.

I ended up with a rose on the way to the deli. I ordered my food. As he was packaging up my soup, register boy asked, "So, would you rather get free flowers on the street, or flowers from your boyfriend?"

I blinked at him in confusion for a couple of minutes in 'does not compute' mode. The question was problematic because the default assumption was that I a) cared, b) had a boyfriend, and c) liked flowers. For the sake of argument, let's pretend all of the above are true, but then, I'd still need more data. Are the flowers from said non-existent boyfriend for a happy occasion, or did he screw up? Did he get me my favorite flowers, or just generic flowers because that's what you do when you're in a relationship? I mean, I need to know these facts in order to evaluate the question properly!

And that's when I realized I was insane.

erika, in Natter:

I got the bathroom that was accessible only because kids made it too ugly for anyone but disabled folks to use in 7th and 8th. "Kathy Mahoney fucks farm animals," if you're wondering.

In Natter, because I can't help laughing at the endless riff on Green Lantern's weakness....

ita: What do you have against Green Lantern?

Jesse: Dude. Yellow.

ita: That's so no longer true.

Plei: Well, technically, the weakness is back, but if they all get into a homoerotic line dance position and THINK POSITIVE THOUGHTS, they can still fight bananas.

Jessica: I'm a little boggled at the thought of "You know what would make a good weakness? YELLOW!" being considered a workable idea twice.

Wolfram: Maybe if they limited it to a particular shade. Like mustard.

Plei: Now there's some deep spiritual meaning to it or some such crap.

The original Green Lantern, with powers of a different origin, also has a weakness. His? Wood.

I'm drawing up plans for the ulitimate bad guy lair right now. A little Douglas Fir, a little Dutch Boy, some Kryptonite doorknobs, and I'm set.

From Natter,

From this seed:

tommyrot: I'm eating carryout from KFC right now. When the guy put my container into a plastic bag, he carelessly allowed the container to tilt almost sideways. Now there's coleslaw juice in my mashed potatos.

Sprout entwined conversations

tommyrot: Killing people on a whim is so much fun....

Kathy A: It's a good way to sop up gravy and other foods with liquid.

Oddly enough, both those conversatons started from the same place.

Hm, so parallel isn't the right word. Editing time.

ita in Natter. Context need not apply:

She'll be tattooing her cooter to get him through university.

Aimee in Bitches:

So we're going to a party in Michigan that's themed - Super Heros (hereos? whatev). Real or made up.

I'm making one up.

My name shall now be known as Vanity Faire. I fight evil by making it pretty! My tool belt (a low-slung belt from Gap or the like) will have a Beautifier 3000 (hairdryer), a curling iron (still to ba named), hairspray and other products (also to be named), a Reflection of Beauty (mirror) and a Magic Pouch full of cosmetics. I shall dress in low rise capris, espadrilles and a cute layered tank and scoop neck off the shoulder t-shirt and a tiara.

In Natter, considering celebrity Idolatry.

Jessica: they've really gone downhill since Vanilla Ice and Wang Chung.

Kristen: Now there's something I never thought I'd see on my screen.

Cashmere: Raquel, friends of our named their baby "Rice". They just signed the card they sent us with their names and "Rice". I have no idea if they had a boy or a girl. I just can't figure out why they named their baby after food.

Polter-Cow: Maybe they went to Rice.

Cashmere: Nope. Ball State. So I guess it could have been A LOT worse, huh?