From Bitches, where villainy still needs a few lessons ...

Gloomcookie:

I'm about to snatch up an eBay item for good money. Sniping rules!

And I ain't closing that opening tag neither!

(a few posts later)

Dude, right after I posted my nefarious plot, two bids were placed! A karmic eBay smackdown?

Miracleman: Super-villain rule #1: Never gloat. Not until the plan is totally complete, the hero is dead and his head is mounted on a pike in front of your dark stronghold as a warning to others, and you can stir the smoldering ashes of your enemies' encampments with your boot. Then you may allow yourself a slight self-satisfied smile and perhaps a small "hah" under your breath.

Nilly: This is confirmed in our experiments showing that the THING1, signifying the taking over of THING2 throughout the entire sample, is always observed at lower fields for the smaller sample.

Jessica: All I'm getting from this is that you've got the Cat in the Hat characters locked in different rooms and are doing experiments on them.

The nature of evil is contemplated in Bitches

Miracleman

You think Evil has, like, a Best Boy?

What does a Best Boy do?

Is it dirty?

If there's a First Evil and a Second First Evil and a Second Second Evil, is I Don't Know still on third? Or was he traded for a southpaw Evil Shortstop? Should there be a salary cap for Evil Major League Baseball?

If you're a free agent in the Evil Major League Baseball, can you be a Third Second First Evil etc., or would they just call you "Fernando" even if your name was, like, Bob?

Do they have Evil Hot Dogs? How about Evil Peanuts?

How long is the line to get into the Evil Womens' Restroom at Evil Stadium? Does the Evil Mens' Restroom have urinals, a trough, or just a bunch of sinks along the wall?

What time is it, anyway?

Aimee

HEY! Help yer wife and look for a programmable talking doll/action figure if yer bored!

Say good night, Gracie.

Good night, Gracie!

libkitty in Firefly:

I think I should get continuing education credits for being a buffista.

Ginger in Literary:

I have nine large (3-4 feet x 6 feet) bookcases. They do not hold all of my books. At least if I were addicted to cocaine, I wouldn't have to figure out a place to keep it.

Gus: "Sekrit" Swiss accounts are not so "Sekrit" any longer.

Ginger: You mean I can't hide my ill-gotten gains in a Swiss bank account, even if I manage to ill get some gains?

Jen, in Music:

I can't get over the "woo hoo!" song. It's soured me on Blur. Also the fact that there's a lyric in that song that sounds like, "I got my head checked / by Erma Bombeck."

Wolfram: Why is it that when you go into a supermarket only having to pee a little, and you're only there to buy 3 freakin' items and you get to checkout and notice there's only two checkouts open which isn't so bad since there's only two people in line in one and three in the other, so you get in the two person line but you couldn't see that at the head of the line was a very nice and personable youth-challenged individual who is having a very pleasant conversation with the cashier about using only half a rain check and meanwhile your need to pee has gotten worse, but fortunately the conveyer has moved enough so you can squeeze your stuff behind the third person's stuff, while the happy shopper at the front of the line is now conversing with the manager and then, naturally, writes a check for the entire purchase, and that's when you notice that the person ahead of you is doing two separate transactions, which the cashier didn't notice until too late, and hahaha, no problem we'll just void the transaction, and your bladder is getting bigger, and you are starting to get just the teensiest bit annoyed, and finally the two transactions are done, and the cashier takes this opportunity to switch in her cash drawer and tell a few jokes to her friend up at the manager's desk, meanwhile a third lane has opened but since you are at the head of your line you can't switch, and it's finally your turn and of course the credit card strip is so worn that the cashier has to type it in manually and you get your groceries and head for the door but there's a cute little girl whose pushing the shopping cart ahead of you and her mother and aunt are helping her park the thing, and now you have all your stuff so it's too late to throw in the towel and find a restroom so you try to think dry thoughts as you finally make your way out the door to your car and load your groceries and get home and take your groceries to the door, to find that your wife has forgotten to unlock the door for you and you put down the groceries and fumble for your keys, cursing and muttering, and of course the cans fall out of the bag and off your stoop and you just don't care anymore and you burst in the house and finally take care of business?

Not that this happened recently or anything.