Mal ,'War Stories'
This thread is for Buffista quotage. Posts that are profound, witty, or otherwise deserving of immortality go here. This is also Shrift's source for the BRQG, so be aware that if your words end up here, they'll also end up there. Finally, please note which thread spawned the quotage and please white-out anything that might be spoilery to Un-Americans.
Teppy (Steph L) in Bitches:
I have always LOVED my doctor because he doesn't seem to think a person will die if her weight doesn't fit into column on a chart.
Plus, he's funny. When he told me he wanted me on meds, I told him that I really wanted to get my first heart attack in before age 35, and I felt that medication would really hinder me in reaching that goal. He didn't even bat an eye; he just said "You should start smoking, then."
ita in Bureaucracy expresses beautifully how we all feel now and then when the hivemind leaves us in the dust:
Are you about ready to explain it to those of us less ... well, I have no idea less what, since I have no idea what the hell you're on about? Or do you need some more time to ... WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
Nutty: George Tenet was like the ultimate political battered wife. He kept being like, Yeah, that was my fault, I do everything wrong, he's always right, I provoked him. Hopefully Tenet is now in a shelter somewhere, learning how to assert his right not to be blamed.
... and also writing a tell-all book. Tell-all books are key to the recovery process.
ita, in Natter:
My plant relationships seem to involve regular trips to the brink of death. You have no idea how excited I am by the prospect of extending that to homo sapiens.
Deena in Great Write, explaining a presently popular childrens' television character to the kidTV-challenged:
Mash a teletubby. Add LSD. Sprinkle with weird theremin like sound and glitter. Swirl in the air and provide cut out people figures to watch. That's a boobah.
In Minearverse:
Allyson: If you paid me 14 bucks and a pack of Marlboro's to do so, I'd tear your nose off with a plier and replace it with Silly Putty.
Toddson, in F2F:
I was talking to some friends and we decided that cicadas are the teenagers of the insect world - they're awkward, noisy, and think of nothing but sex. After all - they ARE 17!
Lilty Cash: I know. He made me feel like a complete failure in the person department.
Wolfram: My wife used to have a friend who did this. Now she's a mean ex-friend. You don't need friends to make you feel like a failure. That's why we have family.
In F2F, a discussion about arachnids:
Toddson - Just to add to the fun - were you aware that king crabs are also arachnids?
Jessica - Yes, but unless you live in Alaska, you'll pretty much only ever see the legs. Which look like food, not spiders. (Same with lobster -- whole, they look like the overgrown bugs they are. But their tails look like food.)
ita - Their flesh looks like food. Their tails look like a strange way to spend an afternoon.
Cause it's some kind of brilliant, Daniel's latest hit single:
Oh God, I've earwormed myself....
Welcome to the earworm,
we'll treat it like a game
we have all the filk you'll need
the tunes drive you insane.
The Buffistas you will find,
are there for friends in need
but if you got an earworm baby,
we're less cure than disease.
To the earworm,
Welcome to the earworm.
We can make you run and scream......