I'm catching up in Bitches.

Hil R:

in my family, every female's will states that, although the husband will inherit almost everything, the jewelry, silver, and china are specifically mentioned as going to either daughters or nieces. My grandmother started this, because she was convinced that her husband would get remarried to a seventeen-year-old shiksa who'd take all of that stuff. It became known in our family as the "seventeen-year-old shiksa clause."

At Thanksgiving this year, my sister was setting the table, and my mother said, "This would be china you'd be happy to entertain with, right?" and my sister responded, "It's nice, but it's not really my style. You can leave it to Hil." Then a few minutes later, I walked through the dining room, and she asked me the same question. I replied, "Well, it's really more your style than mine." My father walked into the room then, and my mother turned to him, sighed, and said, "I guess the seventeen-year-old shiksa can have the china after all."

Emily: If a book jumps off the table, it doesn't mean there's a poltergeist. The book could just have come to life for a split second and committed suicide from the despair.

Emily, who was smokin' (as opposed to smoking) last night:

I'd like to go down in Buffista history, if necessary, as the first person to fail to get a degree because she couldn't play checkers. That would be a comfort to me in my straitjacketed rocking and mumbling. "Can't sleep... it'll forget who's playing red..."

tommyrot:

Re: wide-screen DVD hatred - I've heard tell that some people see the black bars above and below the picture and think part of the picture is "missing."

How these people get the DVD box open is beyond me.

msbelle:

I think I am gonna write a DNR for the panda.

Natter:

vw bug: I am going to have the smartest dog EVER. Emily is very patiently teaching him Complexity. I don't get it (which I think is why she's moved to explaining it to the dog), but he seems completely taken with the whole subject.
amych: Don't be fooled, vw. My cat understood poststructuralism quite well, but I never could get her to sit down and produce a dissertation.

Continuing that exchange:

Thomash:

It's true. Pets will learn everything they can from us, but only to their own ends.

(Rhode Island is secretly run by parakeets)

Raiders of the Lost Ring, in LOTR, DXM bringing the funny:

Frodo: Please, what does it always mean, this... this "Aragorn"?
Elrond: That's his name. Aragorn, son of Arathorn.
Aragorn: I like "Strider."
Elrond: We named the *dog* Strider.

In Bitches...

Madrigal: Maybe the echidna skull could be useful in getting the visas back. There's the "I'm a voudun priest and I could wreak some major mojo on your ass" method, the "I'm the next Steve Irwin, you can't interrupt my travel plans" method, the "This is the skull of my country's first prime minister and must be returned to the national museum - yes, I know it's small, that's how you know it's authentic" method, and, "Dude, I got an echidna skull. That so outranks everyone else here with their gerbil skulls" method.

billytea: Hee. From now on, all my dealings with the US Consulate will begin with "Dear Gerbil Skull".

In Firefly:

joss: These people are just so alive to me, and not just because we cast living actors. (We were of course accused of anti-Zombieism, but I've auditioned a few and no offense, they move really slowly and they eat your brains. Just like Latvians.)

(I just laughed out loud when I read this, I couldn't help myself. Also, braaaaaaaains).