Coffee On My Monitor
This thread is for Buffista quotage. Posts that are profound, witty, or otherwise deserving of immortality go here. This is also Shrift's source for the BRQG, so be aware that if your words end up here, they'll also end up there. Finally, please note which thread spawned the quotage and please white-out anything that might be spoilery to Un-Americans.
In Natter, Nicole is not feeling well...
Nicole: Drinking cafeteria cocoa, sucking on rocks and constantly blowing my nose.
Today can be over now.
Steph: Nicole, are you really sucking rocks?
Nicole: Yup. I found a pretty polished rock in my medicine cabinet last night while I was searching for the always present except when I need it bottle of NyQuil, and so I took it as a sign. Washed the rock real good and rinsed it with listerine. My throat feels a little less parched, which is good cuz I can not drink any more water. Feeling practically sea-sick as it is.
A bit later...
Nicole: So much for sucking on a rock.
Lori: Did you swallow it by accident?
Nicole: Yup. Obviously the major reason why I wasn't told about this process of saliva reproduction previously.
Hec: Nicole has the digestive tract of a gravel eating bird, pass it on..
Nicole: stupid rock
erinaceous: Nicole, are you really sucking rocks?
This was me, FTR.
Fixed. I got confusled because you had a big shout out to Erin in your post.
ME: Only time the cat humped the pillow was after the pot. Tres romantic.
Teppy: I knew a guy like this in college.
In Natter --
sarameg (quoting some article): The flavor of chocolate-covered ants is made more pungent by pyrazine molecules given off as warning signs.
Tommyrot: A warning that says, "Don't cover me in chocolate, asshole."
Steph L.:
Thom = THE MAN. Granted, Kyan is hottttt, but Thom is hot and funny as hell AND knows his way around a Pottery Barn.
Rio:
arm-wrestles Steph for Thom
Steph L.:
Babe, you just had surgery. I can beat you down.
BEEP.
Rio:
That's why I said ARM-wrestle, silly. All this crutching about has given me Popeye forearms.
Steph L.:
t scared now
Rio:
Also crutches are good for hitting.
Steph L.:
t weeping
Rio:
very slow victory lap
Gud:
I have a safe for that sort of stuff. It's great, you can say things like "I'll put this in the safe". Also, you have to turn the little turny dial thing and pull the handle to get stuff out, so anything you get out of it seems extra valuable and important. Even the title to my 1992 Tempo feels important when it's in a Safe.
Catching up in Bitches, ita and Rio go a few rounds.
Ita: Why don't you guys just return your tongues to the manufacturers, or at least read the manuals, because you're not using them right.
Rio: Oh, please. My tongue is ADVANCED. In fact I am typing this post right now with it.
Rio: ita has cursed my computer. I keep getting error msgs. She is jalouse of my tongue, it's so OBVIOUS.
ita: Your tongue is not the boss of me, little bot.
Rio:
does tongue krav
Two more from Bitches, NOT AT ALL connected.
Amych: Somehow, I never guessed that we'd have a serious discussion of panda snot. Really, the duck necrophilia should've been a warning.
**************
Gud: ...you could just figure that when the eggs start wearing little black leather pants that they've gone bad.
From
Bitches:
Teppy:
We're listening to Christmas music at work, and you know what I realized about "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"?
Santa's a *playa*, yo!
deb:
Or Mommy's a *ho*, yo!
Teppy:
Well, I always figured it was about Mommy being a ho, but just today it struck me that it takes two, right? So, Santa = playa.
erika:
No, Santa's the playa...he could do that, what? A million times. Mom's a starfucker.
amych:
Mommy's expressing her true, vital, raw sexual power as a womyn, free of all oppressive social boundaries and expectations! They only want you to think she's a ho because it serves the interests of the double-standard-weilding patriarchy!
Santa, otoh? Total playa.
