erikaj in Fan Fiction, on a Mary Sue:

After that, I had to stop reading, but I'm sure she sings like Kathleen Battle and can talk to her dog.

Making the best of board's wonkiness:

Liese: But meanwhile, it's like gambling! Will I get a page header? error message? full text? Will my post go through or not? I could be the big big winner!

Kristen : It also takes numberslutting to a whole new level of fun and excitement. Will I get the number? Will anyone get the number? Will this thread say that it has 97 new posts when in reality it only has three?

Cindy sets 'em up, and just when I think I'm knocking 'em out, DXM comes in for the kill.

CINDY: WHICH OF THE SOMERVILLAINS TOLD YOU ABOUT MY EARS!!!!

VICTOR: Wasn't me, because I haven't met you. Actually, I'm convinced you're an elaborate hoax being perpetrated on me by Nutty, DXM and Tom Warren, and don't exist at all.

CINDY: WHO TOLD YOU ABOUT THE ELABORATE HOAX?

DXM: The funny thing about this? Victor is totally the fictional construction of three small furry evil aliens posing as ferrets... t thwap!!

This is Victor's ferrets. Pay no attention to DX. He had to, er, step away from the computer for a second because he was telling scurrilous mistruths about our puppet master.

aurelia:

A chicago millionaire (or zillionaire, who knows?) throws himself a birthday party each year inviting 600 of his closest friends. Several people I know worked on the setup of the stage, set and lighting which took over a week to put together. The estimated cost of this party? Around $5 million. Among the performers: Redmoon Theatre Co., a bunch of bodypainted naked people, and ...ELTON JOHN! Dude. I'll probably just watch the season premiere of 24 on my birthday.

From Natter:

billytea's assessment of Dubya's UN Address:

Do I have this right? Is he basically saying that all the countries who thought it was a dreadful idea to begin with, should now stump up their own cash and troops to get the US out of the hole it's in, while refusing to give up any authority and telling them all they were poopy-heads for opposing it in the first place?

DXMachina:

Yup, except he's not quite that erudite.

From Natter:

Sue:

I don't know what C++ is really

Steph:

I think it's just a step below a B-.

BT, again on Dubya:

Well, at least he's avoiding his dad's mistake of mastering foreign policy while neglecting the home front.

It's funny, but it's sad, yanno?

Deb, in Bitches:

Those marriage vows? There was nothing in there about lunch.

Madrigal, in Bitches

Maybe all these health warnings are what's really causing the declining birth rate in first world countries. Women are seeing reports that while pregnant they can't smoke, drink, eat sushi, brie, feta, change the litterbox, etc. and decide - screw procreating, I'm getting a cat.

Trudy asked for it, so here is the original Peruvian Squirrel Pimps story from TT. It's long, because it started out as a fairly serious theological discussion. It's all Suela's fault, really.

Suela:

Let's talk metaphysics. The christian symbol of the cross works on vampires, thus indicating (to me at least) some support for christian theology. Then again, we have the statement that Glory is a deity, and lots of references to other deities. What's the deal? Is Glory a holdover from the days when demons ruled the world? Is she an exile from another dimension where there isn't one single deity in charge? Or is my premise flawed, and is the crucifix's efficacy against the undead meaningless in metaphysical terms? As my 10th-grade English teacher used to say, explicate. You have 20 minutes. <trots off, hoping to be enlightened by the many wise minds here among the Buffistas>

Betsy:

My theory is that lots of things that Buffyverse humans think of as gods are really just oomphy demons. (Cf. Angel's recent exasperated comments about Yeska.) So Glory is powerful enough to scare the Watchers' Council, powerful enough to beat up Buffy, but not necessarily one of the PTB. There's got to be some sort of supernatural hierarchy in the Jossiverse: you can pray to demons who can grant favors (see: Yeska, and the snake thing in Season 1 of Buffy), but the real clout is higher up the ambrosia chain. Note how the GGG "shuts up when the big boys plan to speak."

Trudy Booth

Well Suela, there are indications in the Old Testament (or the whole Bible depending on your POV naturally) of the one-God talking about being bigger and better than the other-guy's gods. The commandment is "you shall have no other god before me" not "Hey dudes, I'm the only God there is"... This whole notion of "did God kick the other gods out of town or was he the be-all and end-all from the beginning" is a pretty hotly debated topic in some Christian theological circles.

Betsy:

I think mainstream Christian theology is that there aren't any other Gods; people who think otherwise are deluded. By contrast, the OT theology was that there were other gods, but that the Chosen People were to have no truck with them.

Emily S.:

I think the whole idea with the crucifix is that it works. "But why does--" It just works. "But if a cross--" Shut up. It just works. "Does that--" No. Shut it. The cross works, churches exist, but we're not about to take on the larger implications because we don't want to be burned at the stake. That's my perception, anyway.

sarameg:

You could always just posit (for the cross thing) that somewhere along the line, that particular symbol got embued with anti-vampire germies. A PTB found it convenient to whatever purpose it was trying to accomplish. I'd imagine crosses didn't do a damn bit of good for the First Slayer. Uh, pun not intended.

Magdeleine:

Maybe it's the belief in the effect of the cross that is the actual weapon-- both from the human POV and the vamp POV. Much like the selective healing powers-- Spike's eyebrow scar and so forth.

Emily S.:

I think that is the explanation we came up with about crosses, that they'd gotten imbued with belief or something like that. Although I love the Sluggy where Riff fends off a vampire with a star of David.

Trudy Booth:

Of course, time may not be all that linear to the PTB or Yahweh or whomever... crosses could have ALWAYS worked and then after the whole resurrection deal the baddies all slapped their foreheads and said "so THAT'S the deal with crosses!"

Magdeleine:

This amuses me like nobody's business. It's the world as God's soap opera! "So THAT'S why they-- foreshadowing! It was all foreshadowing! God is a genius! We should really get him to do a pilot for the WB."

Suela:

LOL I'm not challenging the Jossian concept -- I'm just trying to make it all make sense for myself, because I'm a logic-hound. At least Mutant Enemy tries most of the time, unlike some other production companies <cough-1013-cough>.

Nutty Vee:

And as for relative religious symbols, I think they're missing out. Just think! Star of David Throwing Stars! The Muslim sickle as a deadly boomerang! Although. Perhaps insulting to those respective religions. But unbelieveably cool!

Betsy:

Well, we've never seen anybody try a Star of David on a vampire. The problem is, I wouldn't care to be the one field-testing it. Maybe Willow could do it, with Buffy nearby as a backup.

Dana D.:

Welcome, Magdaleine. Another Yes Virgina girl?

Magdeleine:

Yes indeed. If bribed with chocolate-covered Spikey goodness, I could be convinced to tell all sorts of Suela stories. She knows of what I speak.

Suela:

Ack! No! Dana, don't encourage her! <casts wildly about, looking for something to throw, realizes whatever-it-is would bounce off monitor and spill all over the paperwork on the floor of office> Lena: do the words 'Church of <on edit> somethingwhichisn'treligionbutisreallysciencefiction' mean anything to you? You do know that once someone gets on their mailing list they never take them off? Ever? I know this because a good friend of mine used to work for them. So... <glares in a general eastward direction>

Emily S.:

<edit: Scientologists, of course. must post faster>Even better, do you know what happens if you publicly and identifiably say something bad about them? They're more dogged than Jehovah's Witnesses. Um, or vampires. Except, of course, in a totally good way. Yeah. Nobody saying anything bad here.

Phill:

Maybe one could ward off an aggressive vamp with a copy of "Dianetics" or "The Watchtower"?