Nutty, in RIO'S MAKEOUT DEN

Okay, so my story isn't "I tried and failed" but more along the lines of "I am wreaking havoc, and whoops."

Shawn asks ita delivers in Natter

shawn

I need help keeping a wake-up schedule. Maybe a dawn simulator.

ita

Can I try?

GETOUTGETOUTGETOUTGETOUT!!!!!!!!

Cindy in Angel, about Lilah:

Maybe she has to walk around with a book on her head to ensure she holds good posture. Oh, no, she just has to walk around with her head on to do that.

in Natter, on the side effects of having an international board:

victor: All this time zone talk is making my head spin. It's like time travel, only eveyone else is travelling and I sit here and type. I think I need a new time travel agent.

Cashmere in Bitches...

I had a very vivid dream where I told off my asshead boss for being an asshead. And he listened to me. That's how I knew it was a dream.

Nilly: you know how some women say they feel naked if they leave the house without lipstick or something like that? That's how I feel when I can't go Google to find the answers to my questions.

(IJSU)

Trudy Booth: My right underwire keeps trying to escape. I don't know where it thinks it can go.

Ginger: Underwires are not much for preplanning. They live in the now.

I like it when Trudy catches up.

Natter:

Kathy Astrom: The 13-y.o. nephew Clayton got kicked out of the Vatican because he was wearing shorts (this was four hours after the guard at the entrance let him in wearing the same shorts). As my brother was walking the two boys out (6-y.o. Dylan had had it with artwork for the day), Clayton said, "The Catholic Church sucks because they don't take into account the temperature and be flexible." Dylan shot right back, "No, Clayton, Italians suck because they don't believe in air conditioning."

The Puritanical JZ on her sweltering experience at Ren Faire:

I did go out into the more shady of the streets, and, as Susan suggested, warned people that they might think it was hot now but this was just a taste of the torment to come. I also:

• scolded handholding couples for public fornication and urged them to "leave room for Jesu"

• told giggling teenage girls that God hates gigglers and that every time they say "Tee hee hee" the little baby Jesu cries

• told elderly ladies in sleeveless blouses and ladies' Bermuda shorts that they were shameless Jezebels trying to incite men to lust and sin with their naked knees

• told teenage boys eating turkey legs that they were gluttonous pigs

• told parents rolling their children in strollers that they were teaching their children sloth and impudence, and they had better kick the children out and demand to be pushed themselves

• told someone he had stupid hair and I never liked him anyway

• walked up to couples sitting on each other's laps and asked in my most Principal Snyderly fashion, "Is there a shortage of hay bales?"

Strangely, people seemed to really like all this. I am entirely unable to account for it.

To be scolded by JZ? Me, too, please!

Katie M.: (Also seen: church billboard informing me that stop, drop and roll will do me no good in hell. Good to know.)