The Puritanical JZ on her sweltering experience at Ren Faire:

I did go out into the more shady of the streets, and, as Susan suggested, warned people that they might think it was hot now but this was just a taste of the torment to come. I also:

• scolded handholding couples for public fornication and urged them to "leave room for Jesu"

• told giggling teenage girls that God hates gigglers and that every time they say "Tee hee hee" the little baby Jesu cries

• told elderly ladies in sleeveless blouses and ladies' Bermuda shorts that they were shameless Jezebels trying to incite men to lust and sin with their naked knees

• told teenage boys eating turkey legs that they were gluttonous pigs

• told parents rolling their children in strollers that they were teaching their children sloth and impudence, and they had better kick the children out and demand to be pushed themselves

• told someone he had stupid hair and I never liked him anyway

• walked up to couples sitting on each other's laps and asked in my most Principal Snyderly fashion, "Is there a shortage of hay bales?"

Strangely, people seemed to really like all this. I am entirely unable to account for it.

To be scolded by JZ? Me, too, please!

Katie M.: (Also seen: church billboard informing me that stop, drop and roll will do me no good in hell. Good to know.)

Toddson, In Bitches 9:

I once saw a pair of Mormon "elders" (18 years old) proselytizing to a Jehovah's Witness, who was proselytizing right back. Perhaps this is nature finding a balance?

Cindy, in Natter, taking one for the team...

Cindy - Sep 15, 2003 1:15:35 pm PDT #1673 of 1674

If I weren't worried that our webhost would cut us loose, we could start such an internet rumor.

Cindy - Sep 15, 2003 1:24:43 pm PDT #1674 of 1674

Heh. I was just going to come here and mock whomever had killed Natter.

In Natter:

Matt the Bruins fan

I'm having a difficult—no, make that disturbing—time imagining where said angry spies would hide such an exotic shotgun in order to sneak past guards, metal detectors, and the like.

Betsy HP

Under their cool ankle-length black (optionally tan) trenchcoats, of course. Silly Matt.

Matt the Bruins fan

I guess there's more call for espionage at Matrix premieres than I'd previously realized.

Also in Natter, Matt the Bruins Fan continues on his roll....

Of course, several of my friends have small arsenals of bladed weapons in their homes, and so are probably set if they can just remember to chop any firearms out of the intruder's hands before opting for the cool intimidating pose with sword at the ready.

In The Minearverse: YExpirationDateMV

ita: I just heard a rumour that the Wonderfalls premiere is getting such critical acclaim there's talk of moving it from midseason to late October. Anyone else heard the same?

Madrigal Costello: Nope, though the rumor that I'd be spreading was that the acclaim was what caused the beagle who played Porthos on "Enterprise" to decide to leave his job there in the hopes of getting a part on "Wonderfalls."

Allyson: I have heard of much acclaim for Wonderfalls, and much booing and hissing at Tru Calling. It'd be weird if Wonderfalls replaced Tru, eh? In which case, what will happen to our Doug Petrie? Eep!

Madrigal Costello: He, and other former members of ME, could go on to make what would surely be a hit show - "Law&Order:CSI:Serenity" or "Which Space Vampire Wants to Marry Jennifer Lopez?"

ita: They should never have split up.

In Bitches...

Trudy: We could talk about someone hot...

Or the fact that I work for Satan...

Plei: Y'know, those things are, at times, connected. IJS.

Trudy: PMM, I fear for your eternal soul.

Plei: Next, you're gonna tell me evil doesn't have to mean sexy.

Teppy: Two words: Donald. Rumsfeld.

In Movies:

Madgrigal It's very strange when suddenly all the young actors go from just older than you, to about your age, to younger than you.

Jon B. Substitute "Playboy centerfolds" for "actors" and I am you.

In NATTER 16, discussion of sexual habits, mostly ND's:

ND: I'd like to consider myself omnisexual.

Trudy: You do naughty things to magazines and cars?

ND: What, you don't?

ita: cues up a medley of Darling Nikki/Little Red Corvette

ND:

Teppy: The lambada? Because it's 2003 -- I don't think it's forbidden anymore.

Aimee: rethinks moving into ND's building

Aw, what the hell...

grabs CD rack

ND: When we were loading in The Laramie Project I made one of our producers die laughing when I started humping a 32" TV.

Sean: Hey man, TVs are sexy...