In NATTER 16: RIO'S MAKE-OUT DEN

ita:

I feel today just about like I did two weeks ago. Except -- this morning I felt fine. Coughing like a mofo, but I wasn't tired or achey or congested. Now I have a really bad sore throat, stiff neck and headache.

Someone evidently misrouted something, and I need to send these symptoms back.

Jacqueline Zahas:

TO: Powers That Be

FROM: JZ for ita

RE: Symptoms

The enclosed are being returned due to redundancy. The original shipment was received, in extremely vigorous working condition, two weeks ago. Refills not needed. Any subsequent orders should be cancelled and deleted; any subsequent shipments will be refused. The writer of this memo is not responsible for any damages, amputations, or ragged, infected, and suppurating wounds inflicted upon the PTB for their failure to comply with request of same.

Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter.

:jz

Encl (soreness, stiffness, ache)

Natter:

Sue: Right before I woke up this morning, I dreamt that I was trying to invent a potato that could transcend time and space. Then someone told me it had already been invented. "It's call the Time and Space Potato," they told me.

Tag-team Bush contempt:

Wolfram: I don't know what I find more distasteful, the fact that A) he thinks nothing of spending 170 million dollars to campaign against nobody

Gudanov: Hey, let's not dismiss nobody as a viable Republican candidate in 2004. I'd be happy to support nobody in the Republican primary.

Wolfram: Well let's see nobody's credentials: nobody's taken responsibility for the economic mess the Republicans are making, nobody in the Republican party really knows what he's doing, nobody gives a straight answer when questioned about muddled and mishandled foreign and domestic policies.

Yep, I'll vote for nobody in the primaries too.

From Natter

Gloomcookie

I also remember channel surfing a day or so after the attacks, desperate to escape the 9/11 coverage and coming across Sabrina Down Under.

Pinwiz

Game Show Network was my personal lord and savior that week.

Pinwiz:

"That's okay, pumpkin, because today is a good day to die."

"Tell me about it, gumball, because today is a good day to die."

"Yellow Rose of Texas was a bit weird, pot roast, and now today's definitely a good day to die."

I am so intrigued. What thread is that from?

Pinwiz was channelling what it would have been like if the Angel actors had been cast in Star Trek: The Next Generation, so that was Lorne-as-Worf. This is over in Box Set.

Gus, so very glad to be back, and Plei, not putting too fine a point on it, in Natter...

Gus:

Wow! All these exclamation points! I am fine. Still typing with two fingers and missing my Buffistas like a nymphomanic on a deserted isle misses men. Or women.

Mammals, even.

P.M. Marcontell:

But not, I trust, monkeys.

In Bitches, on one of the joys of womanhood:

Susan W.:

(Though, actually I have a theory that shopping demons adjust the inventory for maximum shopper frustration, especially with things that have to fit just so and have a huge impact on your comfort like shoes and bras. So it wouldn't surprise me if Jilli and I went shopping at the same Nordstrom's half an hour apart and saw a completely different inventory. And if we went shopping together, looking for opposite things, it'd create a tear in the space-time continuum.)

Jill VoiceOfReason:

Oh, I've suspected this for years. The only part of Nordstrom I can ever find anything is the cosmetic department, because it's impossible for them to move the MAC counter and not leave a trail of false eyelashes.

In NATTER 16: RIO'S MAKE-OUT DEN

Kristen:

In other news, I'm bored. And I can't figure out who's who on General Hospital.

Heather:

I think they're all vampires now, or they have cancer, or something.

Kristen:

Well, at least it seems they've put the 'hospital' back in General Hosptial. I think 80% of what I've seen so far has people on gurneys.

Heather:

Are they there because of "barbecue fork incidents", to be known as BFIs, or the cancer?

Kristen:

I can't tell yet. They all seem to be illnesses that dare not speak their names. But I think one of victims/patients was healed by a kiss. And not even a real kiss. Like, a kiss from a dream.

Talk about the power of positive thinking.

Say...if I dream tonight about JC showing up to take me away from this drab life of 24-customer-service, will I wake up in the morning to discover I'm married to millionaire and I can chuck this motherfucking cell phone in the Pacific?

Heather:

Depends. Do one or both of you hail from Port Charles, Llandview, Pine Valley, Salem, Oakdale, Genoa City, or Springfield? Do either of you have an evil twin? A brain disease? Been kidnapped? To your evil father's underground city?

If not then I'd say the chances are slim.