Spike ,'Sleeper'
This thread is for Buffista quotage. Posts that are profound, witty, or otherwise deserving of immortality go here. This is also Shrift's source for the BRQG, so be aware that if your words end up here, they'll also end up there. Finally, please note which thread spawned the quotage and please white-out anything that might be spoilery to Un-Americans.
Betsy in Natter, proving that even in dreams punsters are unappreciated:
First day of school.
Ellen: "I had really weird dreams last night."
Me: "Oh?"
Ellen: "Yeah. We were being chased by this guy wearing all green and carrying asparagus, and I said 'We're being stalked' and you hit me over the head."
Erin G.: Theres something about poultry shears that makee me happy
More Betsy:
Nothing says 'party' like 'comatose capybara speedbumps'.
Betsy, en fuego!
Betsy [re: the happy ending in the movie version of Our Town]: It's like having Evelyn pop back up alive at the end of *Chinatown*. "It was only a flesh wound!"
Ken Buddha: Of course Polanski changed the original end of the screenplay to make it more nihilistic.
Betsy: Yeah, but Polanski was right.
waves hands as attempts to make some logical consistency out of her positions
fails
pretends she's doing the Lambada
**************
Trudy Booth [again, re happy endings tacked on in movies]:
I believe you, Scrappy, on an intellectual level...
But if Charlotte hadn't died I don't know if I'd have become a vegetarian each time I finished Charlotte's Web.
Betsy HP - You can come back to the carnivore side, Trudy. McDonalds has stopped serving Spider McNuggets in response to widespread protest.
Madrigal:
Babies basically are just little emissaries of all the bodily fluids. It makes one wonder why there aren't more baby clothes made of vinyl.
There was no coffee on my monitor from this one, but it induced a big gasp for air, and thus I thought it COMM worthy.
Daniel C. Jensen in Press:
Tonight is likely the last Buffy on UPN in the United States.
Chosen will be shown.
Next week UPN will be showing "UPN's Funky Flubs" in the timeslot.
Be very afraid.
Matt the Bruins Fan:
There has to be some point at which guilt by association tapers off—otherwise every person in the world who works in the food industry has served a murderer, rapist, or record company executive at some point and therefore deserves to die.
Madrigal, in Natter (context? There was this whole capybara thing... don't ask):
Egad. Anyone ever asks me what the leading cause of alcoholism among capybaras is, I'm gonna say it's you guys.
Noumenon: Wouldn't Angelus make a great prosecutor? He'd just take the witnesses apart with sarcasm. And intimidate the jury, no problem.
Victor Infante: Of course, he'd eat the jury. And the judge. No, he'd torture the judge, and make the jury watch. And then kill 'em.
On the other hand, he's probably already a candidate for governor.
Context? Whatever for?
billytea in Bitches:
Bush: (looking through binoculars) "Ah don't get it. Is it a dance in mah honor or somethin'?"
Cheney: (dies)
(edited because for some reason, basic brackets disappear when I post them. Bother.)