Coffee On My Monitor
This thread is for Buffista quotage. Posts that are profound, witty, or otherwise deserving of immortality go here. This is also Shrift's source for the BRQG, so be aware that if your words end up here, they'll also end up there. Finally, please note which thread spawned the quotage and please white-out anything that might be spoilery to Un-Americans.
In NATTER:
Betsy:
Meanwhile, the iron chefs are coping with live octopus, one of which was trying to clim out of the pot.
billytea -
"Meanwhile, the iron chefs are coping with live octopus, one of which was trying to clim out of the pot."
I'm rooting for the octopus.
Betsy:
Too late. Another one just got pounded to death with a daikon. Vegetable snuff porn!
billytea :
"Too late. Another one just got pounded to death with a daikon."
They had daikons? So much for Queensberry Rules. (Though now I read again, I note that you don't actually specify whether it was cepholopod or chef on the receiving end... I rather like the idea of a multi-tentacled McGyver, fighting his way to freedom with whatever he finds seasoning the pot with him.)
And, rounding out the octopus saga:
Cindy:
Off the subject, but still on food - does anyone have a good Blueberry muffin recipe?
Billytea:
That depends. Are you averse to octopus?
[edited attribution]
'twasn't me asking. I was the one suggesting good old midwestern down-home Jiffy box mixes.
Victor in Angel (whitefonted):
WB: Joss, I'm sorry. This part has to be toned down.
Joss: You never let us have oral sex. UPN let's us have oral sex.
WB: Well, okay. Maybe this once.
Connie Neil: Og has been severely underappreciated through the ages, just because he found the use of pronouns and the first person to be restrictive of his art.
People in Angel, whitefonted:
Theodosia: I'm sure, she typed primly, that Wesley was merely moving down to genteely remove Lilah's shoes so that she would be more comfortable.
This is my story, and I'm sticking to it when the censors ask.
Jess PMoon:
Wesley was merely moving down to genteely remove Lilah's shoes so that she would be more comfortable.
Hm, I think you misspelled "pants" there.
(edited for whitefont)
Matt the Bruins fan in Angel, whitefonted:
I can accept Angel not punching a "normal" woman hard enough to maim, but no way her blows should be able to keep him on the ropes like that. If she'd used electricity to strike at his weakness and he'd been all distractedly screaming "my hair! MY HAIR!" it would've been another matter entirely.
Off the subject, but still on food - does anyone have a good Blueberry muffin recipe?
From Betsy Hanes Perry "Coffee On My Monitor" Oct 13, 2002 7:57:14 pm EDT was said by Cindy.
In Angel (not spoilery, I think, but I'm whitefonting anyway):
ALIBELLE: It's like, one girl in all of Sunnydale who has the strength and skill...oh no, wait....one girl in all of the Summers' Home who has the strength and skill...oh no, wait again...one girl in all the world who happens to be named Buffy with the strength and skill to defeat the vampires.
Soooooooooo many COMMable Bitches last night:
TRUDY: I've now been reduced to completely petty behaivor. I swiped a pint of Ben and Jerrys from [my sister's] freezer and am eating it. I'm enjoying the theft as much as the chocolate.
ELENA: Steal her food? Why, does illgotten food taste better?
TRUDY: It does!
I'm turning to a life of junk food crime! Bwah ha ha haaaaaa!
Super Porny Pants and the Junk Food Bandit! Now I have TWO alias-es-esss
BILLYTEA: I don't think that's entirely fair. In this troubled economy there are all too many people trying to get by without even one. I think you should opt to be known as the Super Porny Junk Food Pants Bandit, or else relinquish one to an unemployed steelworker.
TRUDY: You have a point, Billytea...
As a good capitalist, however, I am going to hire some unemployed schlub at the currently depressed market rate to wear the outfit and steal the junk food for me.
-----
TRUDY: Editing this story is making me bats. I have too much porn! I need to cut out whole swaths of delicious sex acts in order for this thing to have some sort of narrative arc.
REBECCA LIZARD: I'll take some of that porn, Trudy. Mine is stubbornly refusing to be sexy in the right place.
Me: C'mon, Emma. Just jerk off in the shower. A hundred words. All I'm asking.
Emma: Get out of my face, bitch, or I'm calling the cops.
Me: I'll take away your coffee.
Emma: That's just a stupid gimmick anyway.
---
ELENA'S HUSBAND: Pork can too be a garnish. Imagine a large pile of apples. Can you think of anything more appropriate than a dead pig amongst them? I would think not!
---
ELENA: You know what's a traditional Thanksgiving gift in Canada? X-Men slash.
ELENA'S HUSBAND: ...So a turkey, Wolverine and Magneto walk into a bar...
