'twasn't me asking. I was the one suggesting good old midwestern down-home Jiffy box mixes.
Coffee On My Monitor
This thread is for Buffista quotage. Posts that are profound, witty, or otherwise deserving of immortality go here. This is also Shrift's source for the BRQG, so be aware that if your words end up here, they'll also end up there. Finally, please note which thread spawned the quotage and please white-out anything that might be spoilery to Un-Americans.
Victor in Angel (whitefonted):
WB: Joss, I'm sorry. This part has to be toned down.
Joss: You never let us have oral sex. UPN let's us have oral sex.
WB: Well, okay. Maybe this once.
Connie Neil: Og has been severely underappreciated through the ages, just because he found the use of pronouns and the first person to be restrictive of his art.
People in Angel, whitefonted:
Theodosia: I'm sure, she typed primly, that Wesley was merely moving down to genteely remove Lilah's shoes so that she would be more comfortable.
This is my story, and I'm sticking to it when the censors ask.
Jess PMoon:
Wesley was merely moving down to genteely remove Lilah's shoes so that she would be more comfortable.
Hm, I think you misspelled "pants" there.
(edited for whitefont)
Matt the Bruins fan in Angel, whitefonted:
I can accept Angel not punching a "normal" woman hard enough to maim, but no way her blows should be able to keep him on the ropes like that. If she'd used electricity to strike at his weakness and he'd been all distractedly screaming "my hair! MY HAIR!" it would've been another matter entirely.
Off the subject, but still on food - does anyone have a good Blueberry muffin recipe?
From Betsy Hanes Perry "Coffee On My Monitor" Oct 13, 2002 7:57:14 pm EDT was said by Cindy.
In Angel (not spoilery, I think, but I'm whitefonting anyway):
ALIBELLE: It's like, one girl in all of Sunnydale who has the strength and skill...oh no, wait....one girl in all of the Summers' Home who has the strength and skill...oh no, wait again...one girl in all the world who happens to be named Buffy with the strength and skill to defeat the vampires.
Soooooooooo many COMMable Bitches last night:
TRUDY: I've now been reduced to completely petty behaivor. I swiped a pint of Ben and Jerrys from [my sister's] freezer and am eating it. I'm enjoying the theft as much as the chocolate.
ELENA: Steal her food? Why, does illgotten food taste better?
TRUDY: It does!
I'm turning to a life of junk food crime! Bwah ha ha haaaaaa!
Super Porny Pants and the Junk Food Bandit! Now I have TWO alias-es-esss
BILLYTEA: I don't think that's entirely fair. In this troubled economy there are all too many people trying to get by without even one. I think you should opt to be known as the Super Porny Junk Food Pants Bandit, or else relinquish one to an unemployed steelworker.
TRUDY: You have a point, Billytea...
As a good capitalist, however, I am going to hire some unemployed schlub at the currently depressed market rate to wear the outfit and steal the junk food for me.
-----
TRUDY: Editing this story is making me bats. I have too much porn! I need to cut out whole swaths of delicious sex acts in order for this thing to have some sort of narrative arc.
REBECCA LIZARD: I'll take some of that porn, Trudy. Mine is stubbornly refusing to be sexy in the right place.
Me: C'mon, Emma. Just jerk off in the shower. A hundred words. All I'm asking.
Emma: Get out of my face, bitch, or I'm calling the cops.
Me: I'll take away your coffee.
Emma: That's just a stupid gimmick anyway.
---
ELENA'S HUSBAND: Pork can too be a garnish. Imagine a large pile of apples. Can you think of anything more appropriate than a dead pig amongst them? I would think not!
---
ELENA: You know what's a traditional Thanksgiving gift in Canada? X-Men slash.
ELENA'S HUSBAND: ...So a turkey, Wolverine and Magneto walk into a bar...
The ever quotable billytea, Nature Freak (in Natter):
octopi are perhaps the coolest things in the ocean. The only thing that limits their ability to squeeze into crevices and such like is their beak - they'll comfortably fit into milk bottles, for instance. Being soft-bodied, this is a defensive feature; some species can mate while the participants are safely ensconced in separate crevices. The male inserts a specially modified arm into the female, then shunts sperm packets along a groove. (Other, free-swimming species tend to be more scattered, so finding a mate is something of an event. The males celebrate by filling an arm with sperm, breaking it off at the base and promptly dying. The arm, meanwhile, wriggles into the female's gill cavity. Hallmark cards will never seem quite sufficient again.)
Madrigal, in Angel (also spoilyish for Buffy):
For a moment I thought they might kill Gunn, since they've introduced a recurring black man on Buffy, and there is that whole, "One brother dies, another rises" thing. And now I'm picturing some future Buffy episode where Dawn brings home her new friend Keisha, proudly wearing a rainbow pin, who lasts all of five seconds before being torn apart by zombie parrots.