Cindy, in Bureaucracy:
We take pleasure in answering thus prominently the communication below, expressing at the same time our great gratification that its faithful author is numbered among the friends of The Buffista Bureaucracy:
Dear Editor---
I am a poster of a certain age. Some of my little friends say Buffy the Vampire Slayer will be over on May 20, 2003. Papa says, "If you see it in Buffista Bureaucracy 2: Like Sartre, Only Longer it's so." Please tell me the truth,
If I always keep Buffy in my heart, will she never die?
Pinwiz O'Hanlon
Pinwiz, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Pinwiz, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours, man is a mere (not Mere) insect, an ant, in his intellect as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.
Yes, Pinwiz, there is a Buffy Summers. She exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Buffy Summers! It would be as dreary as if there were no Pinwizzes. There would be no childlike faith then (not to mention Faith!), no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The external light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.
Not believe in Buffy! You might as well not believe in fairies. You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the graveyards on Hallowe'en to catch Buffy, but even if you did not see Buffy, stake in hand, what would that prove? Nobody (well, in the U.S. of A., anyhow) sees (new) Buffy (after 5/22/03 8:00 pm Eastern, 7:00 pm central, and 8:00 pm, Pacific) but that is no sign that there is no Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.
You tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived could tear apart. Only faith, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Pinwiz, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.
No Buffy! Thank God! she lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now, Pinwiz, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, she will continue to make glad the heart of Buffistahood. There was no ancient prophecy about a slayer and her friends. But there will be legends, now and forever.
Jesse, I was just on my way to tag that. I second that tagging!
Theodosia:
It would be a kind of tea-towel wrapped around the head kind of blindfold, not a cute little biddy kitty bondage blindfold. I'm afraid I'm far too utilitarian to ever be a good dominatrix.
******
Sean K:
I swear, those giant pixie sticks carry enough sugar to kill a grown man. Who eats those?
Holli:
Teenagers, of course. I know kids who put that shit in soda, and end up awake for the next three days.
ita
in Natter, showing off her maternal instincts:
Imagine the 18 month old who has to be in the room when his dad is teaching, and then goes over to kneel by him, arms crossed, mirroring his stance perfectly and pretending to watch over the class of green belts. Every now and again he takes a break to go hit the pad his mother holds for him, or to try and handle the fake knives. Even the big bad men were getting misty.
I want one just like that.
Madrigal, on how to confuse Jehovah's Witnesses until they leave:
I just did my overobsequious routine, it involved stuff like offering coffee, then immediately remarking that I was sorry I forgot they couldn't have coffee, no wait, that's the Mormons, why can't they have coffee? Is that in the Bible somewhere? Do you know that passage? What version of the Bible do you use? A Vulgate? King James? Is it direct translation? I think we have cookies, are you allergic to nuts? There aren't any nuts in them, but everyone has allergies. I'd invite you into the lobby but there's a lot of perfume here and some people are allergic to perfume and does your religion allow you to wear perfume? That could be even more damaging than coffee. It's really cold outside, so maybe I could give you a thermos of coffee that's just really really diluted, or maybe some tea that has a lot less caffeine, but herbs, and herbs are witchcraft, and I think you're against that, but wait, it's the Mormons who can't have coffee. Why is that? (At some point I hope this approach gets them to blacklist me.)
In Natter:
JZ: Interestingly, Kate has just stolen Emmett's socks, which action is apparently the first step in her plot for world domination.
Burrell: Reminds me of the underwear gnomes. Weren't they going to take over the world, one pair of underpants at a time? But as I recall, they hadn't really worked out Step 2 yet.
Cindy in Bitches:
We're Buffistas and when Giles took us out to the desert and did the Watcher Hokey Pokey and shook his cute little gourd and temporarily transferred his guardianship of us to our spirit guide, the spirit guide told us: Pedantry is your gift.
Theresa W. in Buffy (non-spoilery):
Truth be told, I'm totally convinced that James and Jesus were brothers. However, it is a little known fact that the Greek term "adelphos" can also refer to FRAT brothers. James, Jesus, Peter, Judas, etc. were all Alpha Omega brothers at Nazareth U. This is evidenced by a small inscription in the lower corner of the ossuary of James the Just. Loosely translated from the Aramaic, it means "Long Live Kegmeister Jimmy."
Damn, it's good to have Theresa back.
