Funny if not spoilerly from Buffy (attribute to first person I can't find):

Oh! and let's not forget--I don't intend to--Spike lounging casually on his bed next to the convenient chains in a very come hither way (at least, well, it looked come hither to me).

Trudy: t Trudy changes name to "Hither"

Heather Alayne : Heather has only to change the i to ea.

Theodosia -- That was connie neil in post 6688.

JULIE'S ENTIRE POST, edited slightly to remove names. The bolding is mine. This should really go in the FAQ:

Posting in a community isn't about sharing a let's get David Boreanaz nekkid hivemind. And it's not about filling in time when you have nothing better to do. No one comes here to entertain you (or, for the record, to chastise you, or quite frankly, to hold your hand and walk you along the path to true Buffistaness).

It is about reading the thoughts and feelings and opinions of those posting around you and respecting them.

You make it impossible for me to believe that you respect this board when you ignore courteous suggestions, when you reject the opportunity to clarify a post, when you refuse to acknowledge your borderline comments when pointed out to you, or when you disregard politely worded posts of advice. And that's just on this thread.

I can understand that you might find it intimidating to be asked to go to the bureaucracy thread and defend yourself. But making snide and resentful references to the situation in other threads is not helping. You may be trying to post around the four hundred pound Buffista elephant, but believe me, everyone else can see it clearly. It's big and it's wearing pink gingham and it's carrying a PORN sign. And until you deal with it, it isn't going to go away.

This isn't a chat room. It's not even a particularly fast moving posting board. Partly, that's because I bet you dollars to doughnuts the vast majority of the people on this board spend a lot more of their time here reading, than writing. And partly that's because people here are aware that every bit of black text they put up on the screen, and every time they press post message, they are telling the community something about themselves. Most people want that to be a positive message.

If a thread isn't moving fast enough for you then you have two choices. You can leave it alone and not poke it. Or you can make a meaningful contribution that shows knowledge of your audience, is written in language and a style designed to elicit responses from your readers and that makes you, [name omitted], accessible to the people with whom you seem to want to share your time.

There are no short cuts to fitting in. And when you're one of eight hundred registrations and a couple of hundred active posters? The onus is going to rest entirely in your lap.

Shrift, in Angel:

In my world, Angel's greatest love, after his nancy boy hair gel, is for his leather pants.

He can risk it all for leather.

Or in leather. I'm not picky.

meara in Natter (what? It made me laugh):

Oh! and Teppy called, and is doped up and yay she's OK. But she's not actually supposed to be using her cellphone in the hospital. Won't that kill people or something?

Phill needing a tape of last night's ep (who knew that thread would ever be quotable?)

The die was cast, the room was set

The guests were settled in

Fine entertainment this night we'd get

Then much to our chagrin

Fickle Fate, her head thrown back

In a cruel and mocking taunt

Did my evening uthlessly attack

with local sports coverage she did haunt

the very soul of my lonng and tiring dorught.

No Buffy for me the woe does flow

Like ichor from a boil.

"A tape, O Albion, a tape!" I crow

and 'pon this verse now toil.

Forgive me my loquacious spew

I just want to see my show

A tape is all I ask of you

With head hung grey, I go.

Tom W. in Natter:

In mediaeval times, on the friday before Easter, townsfolk would gather to goad a bear, or other large animal (some villages had to make do with a pig, or a chicken wearing a hat). Much entertainment would be derived from the animal's roaring, capering and occasional rending of limbs.

Eventually, the custom stopped and Goad Friday became Good Friday. There are some villages in England where the phrase "It's Good to Goad" is still used as a greeting.

Damn! DX beat me to Tom's goad post.

It was the "chicken in a hat" bit that left one small cat and part of a larger tabby covered in (luckily lukewarm) Medaglia d'oro espresso roast.

Phill, in re: the Talmud, in Natter:

it's a giant Where's Waldo of action pact Hebraic Law with lots of hot, steamy Rabbinical analysis

In Natter:

Sean: I mentioned that one of the things that I love about Judaism is the *great* storytelling. Really gripping, dramatic stuff. Jewish religion and history has some of the most powerful and interesting stuff in all of human history.

Phill: Excerpt from any conversation in my family: "...he what? What? No! Well, cancer-shmancer, as long as you're healthy. Did you hear that Lois is seeing Sol. I saw them at Kessler's at he counter. Nu? Who does it hurt. By the way, did you see that Tiger Woods, what a punum on him, such a cutie..."

Yeah, we're gripping. For every "Walls of Jericho Came Tumblin' Down", there is an equal and oposite "Judy said her youngest is going to Skidmore".

Sean: Maybe it just gets morphed over time. So that several thousand years from now, "Judy said her youngest is going to Skidmore," becomes "and Jude's youngest child, through much hardship and many plagues, parted the admissions process at Skidmore, fleeing finally into advanced education. But as the attacking army followed her in, the admissions process closed in, sweeping them away to their doom," or something like that.