From Lightbulbs:

TomW: That's the problem. You let monkeys onto the ballot and suddenly everybody goes monkey-crazy!

Oh, they're so cute! Oh, they're so helpful! Oh, they're so funny!

Before you know it, the board has been renamed "Monkey", all the threads are called "Monkey", everybody has to post under Monkey-related names, like "Monkey-Luvva" and we're only allowed to discuss Mutant Enemy shows that have monkeys in them.

Well, I say that monkeys are just a bunch of poop flinging trouble makers.

amyth: Your monkey hate makes Joss cry.

Aimée:

I do have to say that my non-want to be embalmed and viewed is almost purely vanity run amok. I don't like people seeing me if I haven't showered, let alone dead. And I don't like anyone else doing my make-up.

Natter X:

NoiseDesign: So how bad do you folks think LAX is going to be tomorrow? I fly first thing and have to take a bunch of electronics with me. I'm thinking of travelling naked...less to search...

Sean K: I have frequently considered this option when travelling through LAX.

Trudy Booth: t Trudy starts hanging out at LAX

NoiseDesign: It would be fun to see the look on security's face...hell...last time they damn near had me strip down anyway.

Trudy Booth: Trudy sighs... the best she ever gets at LaGuardia is a quick cab

ita in Farscape:

You turn our hero and his pod!girlfriend to Nerds, I don't feel a shred of anticipation about how they might (or may not) get out of it.

Pinwiz, in Angel:

Dear WB,

I don't watch your network for hard-hitting news. I watch it for Angel and the Pretty Boys. Why did you interrupt with news that we shot off a missle? Dubya waited until after the episode to speak, so he understood the importance of Angel.

Couldn't you have sent an image of the Frog across the bottom of the screen singing:

Hello my baby,
Hello my darling,
Turn it to CNN...

Seriously.

Sincerely,
Pinwiz.

Sue, in Spoilers, but not spoilery:

Spike now has the soul of the Master Thespian.

Nutty:

You know, when I was in the third grade, I was jealous of the girl who skipped a grade to fourth. But now I think back about it, I'm like, HELLO, grade school is not a race. I was habitually the youngest in my class (September cutoff) and pretty small, until puberty. And really, did I need to be more of a know-it-all egomaniac than I already was?

Sometimes I despair that it's my brain that leads the rest of me around.

billytea, in Bitches

I don't see [the French] saying "ah well, zat's ok by us, and we 'ave an island in ze Sout' Pacific you can use for testing if you're interested".

Partly because to my knowledge, France is not being run by the cast of 'Allo 'Allo, but for other reasons too.

Perkins:

I was trying to imagine where I'd be if I stayed the course, and can't imagine. Possibly still in San Francisco, but that's the only plus I can come up with. Of course, I can't imagine what I would be doing if I had waited, and things turned out pretty well, so I guess it all evens out eventually.

billytea:

Yeah. I generally feel that the whole 'what if I'd done XXX instead?' is one of those "That way lies madness" moments.

Er. Edit: 'XXX' up there is just being used to mark a variable. I wouldn't want anyone thinking that becoming an actuary meant closing the door on a possibly lucrative and fulfilling career in porn. Or being Vin Diesel, shouting at terrorists or otherwise.

Edit again: On the grounds that there really were no offers on the table, not because it's perfectly possible to combine a career in financial services with ambitions in the erotic video industry. Though for all I know it is.

Edit 3: Not that I was seeking offers, you understand, it's just--

Damn. Well, I guess at least it's clear why I didn't date seriously until I was twenty.

Fay:

Oh, incidentally - you haven't seen a white person until you've witnessed me singing along to Missy Elliot whilst driving. "This is for my people/My motherfucking people/ This is for my people/ My ecstacy people/ Come on/ Yeah.....mumble mumble rhubarb rhubarb... Bitch! Ho!........mumble mumble...rhubarb rhubarb....my people! Yeah! Come on!" etc etc.

amyth:

I will totally whitegirl mangle Missy Elliott with you any time. You should hear me rap "Ladies First." I do both the Queen Latifah and Monie Love parts. It makes me looks at once like someone overly white, spastic and suffering from a multiple personality disorder.