Natter 9:

Sophia: I am trying to get a Hello Kitty address right now and it won't let me! This is what it says: Consistent with our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy, you are not permitted to register with Sanriotown.com at this time.

I feel like I am doing something horribly wrong! I can't figure it out.

Theodosia: Face up to it, Sophia. You're just not good enough for Hello Kitty. Maybe you should start with mylittlepony.com and work your way up.

Sophia: Well, I feel very unworthy! Cashmere got one!

I gave them all my real info, too. Then I tried lying and saying I was younger, because I thought maybe I was too old. But they had "retiree" as an occupation choice!

amyth in PPO:

Though really, nothing is more healing than a prehensile secondary sex penis.

Heh.

Knut in Sang Sacre:

Penny takes the box and stares at it. "You brought me a box of penis-shaped popsicles?"

"In an assortment of flavors. Hey, you got any nachos?"

Kat: What I would like is to contract my reading out of Natter to someone so I could get a Reader's Digest abridged, something like "PMM is sick and there was an extensive discussion on snot."

Burrell in Buffy

I think that, by definition, taking the First Evil's advice puts you on the road to evil. Otherwise he'd be called something else, like the First Helpful Suggestion.

Ms. Stemple, on why she changed her name: Bad things at work. People might find me. Sshhhhh...

Davids: Yeah, well, they'd have to come through me first.

Excuse me? Yoo-hoo! Evil cow-orkers? Over here, please. Oh, and don't fall into that covered pit--oops. Try not to land on the poisoned stakes--yeesh, that looked painful. Keep the screams down, you wouldn't want to attract any buzzards.

Davids

I think that's Knut, aka David Schwartz. Don't want to steal his thunder even though he is constantly pilfering out of my brain.

Don't want to steal his thunder even though he is constantly pilfering out of my brain.

I don't know what you're talking ab--whoa, look at that haircut over there!

t rifles through the contents of Hec's brain, takes a few choice quips and runs away

Little sister: (reads off screen) "P. M. Mar-con-tell is bad news. That's F. Wolverine."

Me: "Do you know what F-Wolverine actually is?"

Her: "No. Do you?"

Me: "Well, no."

Later, reading this thread: "I see a bad word. Lauren ... I see three bad words."

Reading what I'd typed: "Lauren! They know your name is Lauren! They know your name is Lauren!"

"Well, of course."

"They do? What's P. M. Mar-con-tell's name?"

I tell her.

"Right."

(This is why I carry copies of my birth certificate with me at all times.)

(Honest.)