Natter 8:
shrift: I went to Best Buy last night to buy the Fellowship of the Ring extended DVD.
I ended up walking out with the FotR extended DVD, Lantana, and some old Less Than Jake, newish Queens of the Stone Age, and an old System of a Down album.
The clerk complimented my taste, and unfortunately proceeded to hit on me while ringing me up. He was a blond college student. Plump, with watery blue eyes and a doughy, malleable face straight out of the Simpsons.
I don't remember looking at his nametag, but he seemed like a Hank.
"System of a Down!" he says, obviously surprised that a person Who Looks Like Me would be purchasing hard core metal. "Good choice. Have you seen them in concert?"
I shift from foot to foot, wishing like hell I'd thought to bring along one of those flip-fans and scrawled 'I've taken a vow of silence' on it in black lipstick. "Nope. Haven't had time to go to the Orbit Room the last few years."
The line behind me grows. Only two registers are open. People are looking at their watches. The clerk keeps slowly dragging items across the scanner.
"So what do you do?"
There are a lot of responses to this question, and I usually tailor what I say depending on my desire for further conversation or my state of intoxication. I opt for extremely bland. "I'm in IT."
He gives me the sly, up-and-down look, and being thrillingly original, says, "Don't take this the wrong way, but you don't exactly look like a computer geek."
Yes, I want to say, I'm the Miss America of computer techs. I only wear my sash for official functions. "Yeah, I get that a lot."
The line behind me shifts and grumbles again. He's holding my receipt hostage. I think about using my bag full of pointy plastic jewel cases as a bola. He slowly extends the little folder. "Have a nice day," he says. I nearly run over a small child in the parking lot in my haste to get away.
The moral of today's story? Online shopping. It's the new black.