Heather in Firefly:

billytea, can I borrow you? You say what I mean so much better than I do, I think you'd be handy. Particularly before I've had my coffee. This way when I say, "Gimme. Need. Gonklajft. BEan!" You could say, "Heather would like to know if you wouldn't mind making her a pot of coffee when you get home so that when she wakes up you won't get- What was that Heather?- Ah, your goddamned head torn from your body. And, she thanks you."

In Previously

Heather: Hee. The DirectTV descripton of today's FX 5pm Buffy? "Buffy risks her life to save the world."

Betsy: What we do every night, Pinky!

Oh, I do enjoy my snarky Connie. :)

Plei:

My early 20s were Season Six played backwards. This may explain the satanic messages.

Natter 8:

shrift: I went to Best Buy last night to buy the Fellowship of the Ring extended DVD.

I ended up walking out with the FotR extended DVD, Lantana, and some old Less Than Jake, newish Queens of the Stone Age, and an old System of a Down album.

The clerk complimented my taste, and unfortunately proceeded to hit on me while ringing me up. He was a blond college student. Plump, with watery blue eyes and a doughy, malleable face straight out of the Simpsons.

I don't remember looking at his nametag, but he seemed like a Hank.

"System of a Down!" he says, obviously surprised that a person Who Looks Like Me would be purchasing hard core metal. "Good choice. Have you seen them in concert?"

I shift from foot to foot, wishing like hell I'd thought to bring along one of those flip-fans and scrawled 'I've taken a vow of silence' on it in black lipstick. "Nope. Haven't had time to go to the Orbit Room the last few years."

The line behind me grows. Only two registers are open. People are looking at their watches. The clerk keeps slowly dragging items across the scanner.

"So what do you do?"

There are a lot of responses to this question, and I usually tailor what I say depending on my desire for further conversation or my state of intoxication. I opt for extremely bland. "I'm in IT."

He gives me the sly, up-and-down look, and being thrillingly original, says, "Don't take this the wrong way, but you don't exactly look like a computer geek."

Yes, I want to say, I'm the Miss America of computer techs. I only wear my sash for official functions. "Yeah, I get that a lot."

The line behind me shifts and grumbles again. He's holding my receipt hostage. I think about using my bag full of pointy plastic jewel cases as a bola. He slowly extends the little folder. "Have a nice day," he says. I nearly run over a small child in the parking lot in my haste to get away.

The moral of today's story? Online shopping. It's the new black.

followed by a discussion of where they have mislaid Alibelle,

Wait. I was lost?

You know what? Never mind. Don't answer that.

Thank you for directly COMMing that, Alibelle. Cause if you hadn't, it would still end up here.

Java Cat: When I lived in LA, BF and I once woke up around 2-3 AM to find a completely naked man at the foot of our bed, whining about how tired he was and could he just lie down at the foot of our bed with us and sleep?

Heather Alayne: Damn. Robert Downey Jr. was at your house?

No problem, Kat. I try my best to be conveniently confused.

Me: posting with new tagline courtesy of DX:

Have you seen what they're calling steak knives these days? Some of them are bigger than Sting.

Jesse:

Um, I still don't get it.

DX:

Sting is the name of Frodo's sword in Lord of the Rings.

Oh, *that* Sting!!! I have been throughly confused for the last few posts, trying to picture a knife bigger than a blond ballad singer.

billytea:

"That's not a knife... This is a knife!" "Free free, set them free..."

From Natter

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