billytea (And I swear this isn't an "I'll scratch your back" thing)

I think my parents' motto was "We are like unto the mighty ocean, our children the sponges that dwell therein".

The kids' motto was "Are you going to eat that?"

And another from billytea:

erinaceous: Oh god I am so inspired. Billytea, how does one become an actuary?
Without, you know, doing any actual MATH.

billytea: Oh god I am so inspired. Billytea, how does one become an actuary?
Well, first you--
Without, you know, doing any actual MATH.
Ok, that gets a bit trickier. Hmmm. Here's what I recommend you do.
1. Go to your local cinema. Buy a ticket for About Schmidt. Take notes about how to behave like an actuary.
2. Return to your local cinema. Buy a ticket for Catch Me If You Can. Take notes on how to outwit Tom Hanks.
3. Compare notes. Construct a persona halfway between Jack Nicholson and Leonardo DiCaprio. Most importantly, ensure the persona's age is between Jack Nicholson's and Leonardo DiCaprio's.
4. Get a job in a country with remarkably lax corporate governance. (No, laxer than the US.)
5. Sit back and watch the zlotys roll in.

ita, in Bureacracy, confirming what any fule kno:

I dismember

Context is for pussies.

Jen: I'm really psyched. Enough so that I'm tempted to use an emoticon.

Candy: I sat in front of about 3 or 4 early 20-something young ladies who all were talking about that viewing being their 7th. I also learned all about their starvation dieting techniques.

JessiMoon: "YOU TOO can have Gollum's wraith-like figure!"

Cindy, in Firefly, on the show's chances:

So like...Jamie Kellner and the WB? That's going to take a lotta Hail Marys.

CNN Headline News: This morning our bureaus in Boston, Chicago, Brooklyn, East L.A., New Orleans, Dublin, Madrid, and Rome, have received multiple reports that Roman Catholics all over are waking up to find their rosary beads missing. On mirrors in each home, written in bright red lipstick were the words, "You Can't Take the Sky From Me."

Police suspect a cult is at work and have not ruled out the Raelians. More on this story as it breaks.

Elena, in the holiday thread:

That's funny. I always thought that if Trudy ever took one for the team, it would have been sex.

Trudy replies:

If it were sex I took for the team it would be more than one.

AMY P:

The unlucky ones are the guys who have missions right here in Utah. You'd think they'd get a clue, if we live so close to the LDS, I think we've learned enough about them to make a decision. Fortunately, the last time they came to visit me, Hubby got to them first and said, "Look, you're obviously new, she's not interested, just put her at the bottom of the list of people to visit, and if she gets to the top again, move her back down. No, really, you don't want to talk to her. It's for your own good, really."

I like talking to the missionaries. It makes me happy for days to make these earnest young folks--or earnest young married couples--crazy. Sometimes they cry.

STEPH L:

I am the Grand Supreme Tiara Mistress

AM-CHAU YARKONA:

For attention of Clovis, my dream:

I was in a lift, which had brown carpet on the walls. I think it was underwater. At first, it was just me, but then I heard a scratching noise under the floor. I prised one of the floorboards up, and there were you, Clovis, picking little bits of blue thread out of his fangs. You hopped up, and several people followed you. I think Jilli was there, and ita. You said something like 'hidemefromgothygirl'sminion' - I think that was ita- and started trying to climb my skirt. I picked you up and kissed you- which you bit me for- and then I was outside the lift, in the water, and Legolas was behind me. ita was looking out of the window, and Aragorn was with her, but she was trying to push him out. Then Legolas had an arrow in his hand, and you said 'elfwillstakeme' and swan away.

And then the arrow was heading for me, and I woke up, more sad that it was over than worried about being killed. Which was odd, because in the dream I was panicking.

You may do what you like with this information, but please don't have me tortured. Unless you get Legolas to do it, in which case, feel free

PMM, in Angel

Vortex: ooh, Cordy's looking a little . . . remorseful

PMM: Fire goggles. Like beer goggles with no hangover.

sneaky spoilerfonting -- PMM