Harmony ,'First Date'
This thread is for Buffista quotage. Posts that are profound, witty, or otherwise deserving of immortality go here. This is also Shrift's source for the BRQG, so be aware that if your words end up here, they'll also end up there. Finally, please note which thread spawned the quotage and please white-out anything that might be spoilery to Un-Americans.
In Where's my Precious?
Jeff Mejia:
Eowyn had a huge self-esteem problem that was further lowered by Grima Wormtongue's poisonous words. It can't help things when the one you want is smitten with an Elf.
Betsy:
Bitch won the Miss Middle-Earth pageant a hundred years running. How can you compete?
BHP:
I'm growing my hair out.
Ha-ha! I am a subversive Buffista iconoclast!
Allyson in Bureaucracy:
But you know how it is, the tribe wants to beat the stupid person to death lest it procreate and make dozens of stupid people and then the tribe is inundated with the stupid, and so people have to leave the tribe in the middle of the night while the stupid people get all the really cool huts to themselves. But then the stupid people can't keep the fire going, because they're so fucking stupid, and eventually they freeze to death, and the camp becomes a wasteland.
Then the archaeologists come and see the broken clay pots of the once mighty civilization and theorize that an outbreak of measels killed everyone off, but really, it's just that the stupid people took over, and the smart people left to go invent the wheel, someplace else.
ita, beat me to it.
ita, in Natter:
I will make them all my bitch. Not my bitches -- I'm going to disrespect their individuality sufficient that I'm going to conflate them, and they're going to thank me for it and beg for further reduction.
Allyson, in Firefly:
It's the Naked Guy at the Gay Pride Parade Theory.
I've been to many Gay Pride parades, and mostly, the people marching are well-dressed, some carrying banners for local businesses, moms and dads with strollers.
It'll be a beautiful, perfect, lurvely day and you'll think to yourself, "Well, this is sweet PR, not a bunch of leering child molesting freaks in assless leather pants kidnapping straight passerby to commit acts of rape and whatnot, who can argue with this?"
Sure enough, on the evening news, the only coverage will be of the sole naked man with a pink triangle painted on his right asscheek, and will be captioned, "Gay Pride March"
You'll see no cute babies in strollers, no business-suited GQ looking members of the freaking Local Business Association. You'll just see the camera following the naked guy.
One ass sends a bushell of fucking apples, UPN gets evacuated, and all else is lost. Just ONE person can fuck it all up. It's the Naked Guy at the Gay Pride Parade.
Daniel C. Jensen:
To corrupt Voltaire: I don't always agree with you, but dammit, do you have to make it so blasted hard to defend you?
From Natter:
scrappy: I don't want anyone's skins any thicker. Not by so much as a molecule.
Aimee: Please God let my hips hear scrappy's demand
Narrator:
I am a Frisbeetarian. When I die my soul will go up on the roof and no one will be able to get it down.
Jesse in Natter:
OK, so I finally took that personality disorder test, and everything was low except Histrionic, which was high, and Narcissistic, which was moderate. WTF?!?!? What are they, fucking INSANE?!?! They must have made the test just so I'd get those results!!
And billytea, who gets into COMM for helping me "get it":
Was there a category for 'compulsive need to display irony'?