Jilli:

My dad took me to see Labryinth when it first came out. At the end of the movie, he turned to me and said "So if David Bowie appears to you as the Goblin King, I'm assuming you'll give him whatever relatives he asks you for." My dad knows me well.

In Bitches:

ita: I do have a tiara, but I can't wear it, since it sets with a comb, and I don't have enough hair for it.

Steph: Two words: duct. tape.

ita:One word: Ouch!

Steph: Wimp. You can take people kicking you in the HEAD, but not duct tape? Doesn't krav teach you how to deal with duct tape attacks??

ita: At orange belt level, the tape is still on the roll. Unsheathed duct tape is some scary stuff.

amych: Maybe krav focuses only on duct tape attacks that happen while you're both blindfolded and drunk?

ita: I wouldn't call that an attack so much as a come on.

In Natter:

Hi. This is Miracleman.

Aimee is, actually, in fact hugging a tin of crayons, rocking back and forth and hissing "They sorts you wrong, yesss, they puts you out of order my precioussessessesssss..."

You broke my wife.

You owe me $10,000

In Where's my Precious?

Jeff Mejia:

Eowyn had a huge self-esteem problem that was further lowered by Grima Wormtongue's poisonous words. It can't help things when the one you want is smitten with an Elf.

Betsy:

Bitch won the Miss Middle-Earth pageant a hundred years running. How can you compete?

BHP:

I'm growing my hair out.

Ha-ha! I am a subversive Buffista iconoclast!

Allyson in Bureaucracy:

But you know how it is, the tribe wants to beat the stupid person to death lest it procreate and make dozens of stupid people and then the tribe is inundated with the stupid, and so people have to leave the tribe in the middle of the night while the stupid people get all the really cool huts to themselves. But then the stupid people can't keep the fire going, because they're so fucking stupid, and eventually they freeze to death, and the camp becomes a wasteland.

Then the archaeologists come and see the broken clay pots of the once mighty civilization and theorize that an outbreak of measels killed everyone off, but really, it's just that the stupid people took over, and the smart people left to go invent the wheel, someplace else.

ita, beat me to it.

ita, in Natter:

I will make them all my bitch. Not my bitches -- I'm going to disrespect their individuality sufficient that I'm going to conflate them, and they're going to thank me for it and beg for further reduction.

Allyson, in Firefly:

It's the Naked Guy at the Gay Pride Parade Theory.

I've been to many Gay Pride parades, and mostly, the people marching are well-dressed, some carrying banners for local businesses, moms and dads with strollers.

It'll be a beautiful, perfect, lurvely day and you'll think to yourself, "Well, this is sweet PR, not a bunch of leering child molesting freaks in assless leather pants kidnapping straight passerby to commit acts of rape and whatnot, who can argue with this?"

Sure enough, on the evening news, the only coverage will be of the sole naked man with a pink triangle painted on his right asscheek, and will be captioned, "Gay Pride March"

You'll see no cute babies in strollers, no business-suited GQ looking members of the freaking Local Business Association. You'll just see the camera following the naked guy.

One ass sends a bushell of fucking apples, UPN gets evacuated, and all else is lost. Just ONE person can fuck it all up. It's the Naked Guy at the Gay Pride Parade.

Daniel C. Jensen:

To corrupt Voltaire: I don't always agree with you, but dammit, do you have to make it so blasted hard to defend you?