Fay and Ple get all John Donne on our asses in Bitches:

Fay: So you're not going to batter my ass, three-persone'd Ple? That I may rise and stand, o'erthrow me, and bend your force to break, blow, burn, and make me new? 'Cause I know you're topalicious, and I, like an usurp'd town to'another due, would labor to'admit you...

Ple: Busy old fool, unruly Bum, 
Why dost thou thus,
Through windows, and from England, call on us ? 
Must to thy motions lovers' juices run ? 
Saucy pedantic bitch, go chide 
The Hecubus and his apprentices, 
Go tell Spike's Bitches that the rump will ride, 
Until we pant for hungry orafices ;
Bums, all alike, no season knows nor clime, 
Nor hours, days, months, which are the rags of time.

(Oh. That's really funny.

My sister'd like to report that she doesn't get it; but maybe I should be gladder than not of that?)

Susan W., with a story worthy of Dickens:

I think I just got my Christmas miracle. I opened a cabinet to check for sundry baking needs, not noticing the full bottle of wine sitting on the counter. The bottle fell to the floor without a) shattering or b) breaking my foot.

I figure I can no longer wish for a pony or world peace at this point....

From "Dude, Where's My Precious?'

Am-Chau Yarkona:

I'm getting married to Elrond!

Not sure how Celebrian'll take it, though.

p.m. marcontell :

Felicia will kill you if you try anything. Most likely it will be death by ABBA.

billytea:

"Can you hear the drums Galadriel..."

(FWIW, the movie being referenced is Priscilla, Queen of the Desert ....)

shrift:

Anyone who doesn't agree with me isn't automatically bad and wrong.

I mean, I once had a brief flash of "Damn, Paul Stanley's lookin' mighty hot!" at a KISS concert once, and it still haunts me.

Billytea in Dude Where's my Precious (the first is a quote from an off site author about Tolkien and sex)

Although Tolkien never said that the elves DID have hot gay sex, he also never said that they DIDN’T.

Really, you'd be amazed at the sheer volume of hot gay sex Tolkien neglected to rule out in his writing. For instance, he could have written "'Alas!' said Aragorn. 'Thus passes the heir of Denethor, Lord of the Tower of the Guard! And yet had we delayed to seize our opportunity for hot gay sex! This is a bitter end." Or he could have had Sam saying "I've got a bit of a stew for you, and some broth, Mr Frodo. Do you good. Not as much good as a bracing morning of hot gay sex, I'll warrant, but there's little to be done about that, with that Gollum sneaking about at all hours. Well, you'll have to sup it in your mug; or straight from the pan, when it's cooled a bit. It'll have to do for now." But did he? No, he didn't.

Really, if he's going to be so ambiguous is it any surprise that people wonder?

Allyson, in Firefly:

I can't tell you how proud I am to live in a country where our founding fathers had the foresight to imagine that California's DMV would fucking blow so much that Massachusetts would have to prosecute them for stealing license plates.

This is EXACTLY why we can't let the terrorists win.

billytea in Natter:

For me Christmas means 90-degree weather, late sunsets, and my younger brother explaining that in his job assessing worker's comp claims for the defence forces, he grants automatic approval if they've lost a testicle. Doesn't care how they did it, you lose a goolie, you get the dosh.

Angus, being cool in Natter:

Because I would hate for anyone to just explode or something through an inability to assimilate my level of coolness.

PMM contemplating the holidays:

I'm at my parents' place. We arrived early. Thank goodness they have broadband.