billytea:

I found this group as a consequence of becoming a godless atheist. It was fun.

Heather Alayne:

Are we like a cautionary tale or something?

Theodosia, in Bitches

There probably really is a market for hobbit-shaped dildos.

Am-Chau:

This post brought to you by Skip'N'Skim Ltd., the worst news source in the world!

(Yeah, this is an old one, but I'm catching up in Bitches. And I am not skimming, by the way! preens)

Burrell: You should have seen my mom's reaction to the page of ball organizers.

Connie N.: Um, really, how many ways are there? Other than side-by-side? Or am I showing my provincialism again? Honestly, every time I think I've become something close to worldly wise, the world shows me something else I've never thought of.

LOL (Very L)

David S: Trudy, I tried to IM you back and...nothing occurred.

Elean: Maybe you were just nervous. Why don't you wait twenty minutes and then try again?

Cindy, in Buffy Spoilage Lite:

Spoilage lite is like making out with that cute boy in high school (tcbihs) at a party on a Saturday night. You know who tcbihs - he's the one you always end up making out with, despite promises that it will Never. Happen. Again.

Monday through Friday - you really don't like him at all. Saturday afternoon, you're telling all your friends that last time with tcbihs was The. Last. Time. - and it won't happen again.

Your friends say you're making the right choice (even if they aren't so sure they could make the same one - because baby makes his blue jeans talk) and swear they'll distract you so that you stay away from tcbihs.

Come Saturday night, you and your friends have all had a few beers; the funniest friend has had a few too many and decides it would be hysterical to test your resolve. She gets tcbihs to come over to your side of the living room. She gives your other friends the high sign, and one by one they abandon you and tcbihs. Well, you're almost abandoned, but you have that one, poor, faithful friend who is still standing by your side. By this point though, you too - have actually abandoned yourself as well, and are cursing her very existence. Finally (because she, too has had too many beers - well for her it only takes 2) she has to go to the bathroom. You and tcbihs end up in the family room in the basement, in a corner, in that really big, comfortable chair.

Faithful friend hunts you down. By this time, you're nearly rude to her, trying to give her the hint to get lost. She finally gets sick of watching you play tonsil hockey and goes home in a snit, but secretly?... the snit makes her happy, because it lets her do the self-righteous samba, all the way home. And on Sunday - she's the first one to call you and and bemoan your lack of resolve and remind you what an asshole tcbihs really is.

And spoilage lite most resembles your thing with tcbihs - because you know your eventual and complete spoiling is inevitable. Your friend will go away for a weekend and you'll end up in tcbihs's car: resolve, morals and knickers all in a twist in the front seat, while you and tcbihs are in the back.

Erikaj:

I think you have to know more than I do to say "I'm a Buddhist." Unless you're famous.

BHP in Firefly: (non-spoilery, but not taking any chances)

Simon isn't gay. He will come over and cry on my shoulder and I will help him prove that he isn't gay. And he will be all happy.

I will call it Gorram and Sympathy.

Firefly, unspoily riffing on a Which Character Are You? quiz:

askye : I got Wash all the way.

DXMachina : I'm Wash.

Betsy Hanes Perry : I am Spartacus.

Daniel C. Jensen : "I'm Batman."

Betsy Hanes Perry : You are number six.