PMM, I'm reading between your lines, so smack me down if needed, but why is it sex work if someone you're not married to (if you haven't specified their emotional relationship, I'm just assuming it's not relevant) supports you, but not sex work if you marry them and they provide exactly the same sort of support? You haven't put a restriction on what the kept woman is providing for the keeper, just that there's a wife in the picture too, so she's not providing a marriage certificate, and whatever she's giving, someone else might be giving something in the same arena.

You say she was "only" going to be a kept woman, as if there's a hierarchy in which she fell short of an acceptable or desirable goal. If you are implying that, whose hierarchy is it? Hers, yours, or society's?

You say she was "only" going to be a kept woman, as if there's a hierarchy in which she fell short of an acceptable or desirable goal. If you are implying that, whose hierarchy is it? Hers, yours, or society's?

Oh, hers. She cared about the opinion of society and the done thing far more than I ever have. She was an atheist who told me once that she'd had all her children formally baptised into the Anglican Church because that was the done thing. And she did, in the end, leave Cliff because she fell in love with someone else who was unattached.

PMM, I'm reading between your lines, so smack me down if needed, but why is it sex work if someone you're not married to (if you haven't specified their emotional relationship, I'm just assuming it's not relevant) supports you, but not sex work if you marry them and they provide exactly the same sort of support?

I probably should have specified emotional relationship/expectations up there. Of course, I'll need to actually find where my blurred lines are there.

But Anna Nicole Smith's marriage to the really old dude? And anyone younger than 30 with Hef these days? Totally sex work.

Oh, so there was textual evidence she'd been warned specifically about Holmes. Cool. (I haven't read it since ~1990 or so.) You were wondering who specifically had warned her?

Yep.

But Anna Nicole Smith's marriage to the really old dude? And anyone younger than 30 with Hef these days? Totally sex work.

Because there's no way anyone could love Hugh Hefner? Or no way Anna Nicole could love anyone? I am not supposed to be the romantic one here, but that seems rather absolute about people neither of us actually know.

If it were *me*, that would be sex work, but I can't speak for strangers.

I probably should have specified emotional relationship/expectations up there

But there's no inherent reason (as in, not just talking about your grandmother here) the kept woman can't be the emotional primary in the group of relationships. Would that still make it sex work?

I think what makes it sex work for me is if you would not be having sex with that person if you were not getting financial gain for it.

But there's no inherent reason (as in, not just talking about your grandmother here) the kept woman can't be the emotional primary in the group of relationships. Would that still make it sex work?

Hmm. I suppose if you were the emotional primary, possibly not. (But, again, I may still mentally file it as such, depending on the particulars and the extent of support given.)

Because there's no way anyone could love Hugh Hefner? Or no way Anna Nicole could love anyone? I am not supposed to be the romantic one here, but that seems rather absolute about people neither of us actually know.

Because Occam suggests that beautiful young women rarely flock to really old, really wealthy men for the sake of love alone. I'm sure they could have fond feelings for them, but doubt that Cupid's arrow is the only thing involved.

I think what makes it sex work for me is if you would not be having sex with that person if you were not getting financial gain for it.

I don't think my line is so cut and dried, but that's a good line to have.

I think what makes it sex work for me is if you would not be having sex with that person if you were not getting financial gain for it.

I agree with that, mostly. I don't think that whether you're married or not has any inherent link to it, though. Your intentions are what's important, not how many other people are being slept with, or if there's certification.

Because Occam suggests that beautiful young women rarely flock to really old, really wealthy men for the sake of love alone. I'm sure they could have fond feelings for them, but doubt that Cupid's arrow is the only thing involved.

While I'm sure that there are hot young women sleeping with rich old men they wouldn't otherwise sleep with, I don't think I know which ones are which, and wouldn't even know which ones are *likely* to be which. I encounter a lot of "I wouldn't sleep with someone their age, so why would anyone?" and I get flustered by that. It makes no sense. Obviously some people fall in love with "unlikely" people, and there are no impossible pairings.

There are old people I'd totally hit like a Mac truck, but fair point, and I'll amend it to "high probablility of it being sex work."