connie! I love it! Want more!

falls at connie's feet, worshipfully

I like it a lot too. What I don't like is that lj made some of my writing one with the universe. But the board seems to be "healthy" again...maybe I'll post in here.
Ethan Rayne was fuming.He'd thought he'd had his whole chocolate plan well in hand--deliver the tribute to Nokomis, muck with Ripper's playground, and slip out like the fog. Simple and pleasant. But now that know-it-all succubus was here. Or to be more correct, half-succubus. Unfortunately, her libido tended toward "repressed human" rather than "insatiably demonic" and who would think she'd get famous? He suspected that her public rancor about bi- and homosexuals had to do with her place in his queue. She just couldn't understand about the boys. And the sodding book tour happened at the worst possible time. But here she was, wearing white again...she looked more like an iceberg every time he saw her. "Hello, Ethan. Aren't you happy to see me?"
She extended her hand. He kissed it. American women were fools for a phony courtly gesture...he'd learned that much in his time here. "Of course, pet. But your notoriety is damned inconvenient at the moment. Tell Rupert to call off his boys, will you?"
"I asked you never to talk about that."
"Not Ripper, darling. Rupert Murdoch. It's funny...Ripper was the one with the natural talent, but Murdoch made the dark arts pay. Ripper had too many questions. What if we're wrong, Ethan? What if we hurt somebody, Ethan? Murdoch never worried about it. "
"A real man's man," Ann agreed, sighing.
"I always knew you fancied him."
"It's the power. But you have my soul. Literally."

And the sodding book tour happened at the worst possible time. But here she was, wearing white again...she looked more like an iceberg every time he saw her.

(whimper)

"Not Ripper, darling. Rupert Murdoch. It's funny...Ripper was the one with the natural talent, but Murdoch made the dark arts pay.

(whimpermphmphmwhimperBWAH!)

Oh my lord. Anne Coulter, Demon Bitch. About to taken down by three Homicide detectives eating band candy, and Willow.

I am so happy.

I can't wait. But a bigger question? What's Frank doing? And I have no idea, whatever. And that is so wrong. And poor Will got stuck waiting in the car, so I have to get her out...and it's funny that she and Munch don't like each other, especially.Funny strange not ha-ha.

Hmmmm. I think one of two things could happen:

a. Willow can get bored, wander into the hotel, do something minorly witchy to not be seen by security, the desk staff, or the concierge, and join the party; or

b. Either another Scoob or another Homicide detective (paging Detective Pembleton) can be sent to the Hilton. After all, you know the CoulterDemon requires tributes of dead liberal flesh to appease her, right?

I wondered how she got her skin to look like that.

Brava, connie! More please.

SPAM CHALLENGE (x-posted from lj)

You know the names. The ones that almost look like real human names, until you realize that you have never and probably will never actually know anyone named "Lola Esposito". They're soap opera names. Mary Sue names. Most of all, they're spam names.

I'm not talking about the mail you get from "SuperP0rn" or "Microsoft Network Security Update". I'm talking about the ones that offer a seemingly inexhaustible source of names for fictional characters. Because, after all, in this brave new world, there's no need to flip through the baby naming books ever again.

In the last 48 hours, I have received unsolicited commercial email from these people:

• Sebastian Wiley
• Ebony Jeffers
• Arturo Valdes
• Courtney Dougherty
• Erma Rubio
• Derrik L. Esry
• Darla Cotton
• Antonio L. Potts
• Xenia Blann
• Billy Grayson
• Juanita Davison
• Vicki Park
• Hayden Ross
• Silvia McMahon
• Billie Lynch
• Mariana Carson
• Ost West
• R. Garcia Suarez
• Lola Esposito
• Edyth Blackshire
• Stevie Patel
• Rory McGraw
• Zachariah Corona
• Carlene Gardner
• Darla Mata
• Della Snow
• Avva Lon
• Herschel J. Joyce
• Gord Peters
• Cammie Duit
• Avery Lehman
• Tracy Cordova
• Loretta Lozano
• Jami Foote
• Agnes Quinn
• Felix Huddleston
• Dominique Thacker
• Ida Rogers
• Cheryl Enriquez
• Wilburn Tucker
• Wilhelmine Beckett
• Cary Greenwood
• David Dick
• Lyle Boyce
• Sergey Vlasov
• Cecelia Kendall
• Angelina Burton
• Doris Quinones
• Alleviation T. Monarchists (Okay, so this one is maybe not so much a plausible name. But I couldn't bear to leave it off the list.)
• Gonzalo Albert
• Alonzo Butler
• Salvador Clement
• Terry Castro

So, a challenge: Take an actual spam name from your spam filter or inbox. Write a story, any fandom, any pairing, any rating, using that name for a significant original character -- not just someone lurking in the background. If you don't get spam, feel free to grab one from my list (and also? I want to know your secret).

Make it badfic. Make it outrageously over-the-top Mary Sue. Make it anything from drabble length on up. And then tell me where to find it. Because I'm so very bored.

I'll do that...god knows I get enough names. Part one of B. org's least favorite pundette showing her true colors is here: [link]

Oh. My. Stars.

erika, posted in your lj. Guys, you have to go read this. Anne Coulter gets it!

"There were no openings at the post office and I wanted to work with firearms."

If I used emoticons, I'd be bemoaning the lack of one for "swallowing half my tongue howling because my husband is still asleep and I don't want wake him."

That line about white, white, and taupe for variety....

erika rocks.

And the line about Princess Leia wanting her wardrobe back...