Cindy, Buffy also has the ultimate - the knowledge that she can't walk away from the job, it's in her blood, it's ordained.

I've never seen her more Uberslayer than when she told Giles that she wasn't going to kill her sister - who wasn't in fact her sister at all - and that the last thing Dawn would see would be Buffy protecting her.

The defenses snap in. It was the big reason - among a raft of others - that I never bought the Spike-assault thing. Yes, I've heard and listened to all the reasoning - she was conflicted, she was out of it, she was back from the dead and heartbroken and exhausted and feeling guilty about Spike to begin with - but he would never have got one third as far as he did. Joss spent the first five, six years drawing a picture of Slayer skills as completely atavistic and instinctive: she can't turn them on and off. She'd have bounced him off the ceiling a nanosecond after he ignored her "no." She couldn't not. If she can turn it on and off, then what was Joss doing, the first 5.5 seasons?

So yes, the girl had butterflies on her walls, and sometimes in the pit of her stomach. But she clicks things off deliberately and from choice when the thing she has no choice over - the Slayer instinct - kicks in.

And alas for me writing her, that part of her is the part that I identify with and that made her my Tuesday night girl. I was never one of the Willow women, and Faith, who might be me if I was twenty years younger and a lot less self-loving, I always wanted to feed beef stew and tell to chill out and like herself.

For me, it was always about Buffy. There was that other aspect of her, you see, and the one that really gets me: she was the strong tough completely capable one, the one everyone turns to without a blink, Class Protector, everyone's protector, expecting her to know what to do, know the answers, solve the problem, take down the baddie, go mano a mano with all their worst nightmares. Their own personal goddess, in fact.

Thing is, once you accept goddess status, you get cheated out of a few things: the ability to fail gracefully, the ability to back away, the right to just be human occasionally.

It can shorten your life, and make you very cold sometimes - not cold toward others, just a chilly place inside where your longevity lives. But the thing is, if you're actually good at it? You don't want to let go of it. It feels right, devouring as it is.

She had that, all that. I so totally get it. Been there.

So she comes out Uber, when I write her.

I don't get Buffy. I've never been chosen for shit. For good or ill.(unless you believe that whole new age your soul picks your body thing, which I probably don't.) She's great, but I can't get inside of it. Deb, did Ripper sound ok? Since you guys went to school together and everything?

Ripper was very close to perfect. You got the "right, then, I'm not an Oxford ponce, I'm from Stepney Comprehensive and I'm the bloke who gets hard down the pub and then waits for you in the alley after Chelsea beats Manchester City one-nil" swagger down cold.

Heh. And it's all bullshit.("I've never been to England. But I kind of like the Beatles.." (It's bullshit for Ripper too, but he's not ready to deal just yet...to busy pretending to "keep it real") Guess my All English All The Time music playlist while writing that helped. Go me!

It's complete bullshit for Rupert Giles. Ripper is just the Mister Hyde thing he slips on when his well-bred overeducated Watcher persona gets too heavy for him.

It's complete bullshit for Rupert Giles. Ripper is just the Mister Hyde thing he slips on when his well-bred overeducated Watcher persona gets too heavy for him.

Perfect. I know that thing. Some of my friends think of me as having this tough scots-working class-hardman core that should not be screwed with. That's my old man. I just do a plausible impression for the gullible.

Cause as we know "Everybody has a dark side," Click. Another Buffy/LOTS connection.(And no, unlike Munch, I don't make people listen to this stuff. Much.) And he is afraid to turn into his father, like Xander, who brings us back to Tim again.Well, JohnSw, if it's not obvious, I find myself susceptible to that brand of bullshit.And Cindy, I wish I could put this on TV...I could not do worse than 95% of the writers. Maybe someday. One rule: No chick parts. No women that exist to rub the hero's shoulders and chop zucchini....they could do that, but not as a life goal. Someday.

Not really here. No really, I'm not. I just snuck in to catch up in the short threads and I'm missing all of you so fierce, I just had to speak up and tell you I love this discussion, and I love you guys for having it.

gone now. really.

choppin' broccoleeee

Thanks. And you know the scene, right? HERO comes home from a hard day to find his WIFE has started dinner, you know, to ease his load. Actually, I gave up Blue when they made Sylvia chop his broccoli, too. Variation: What are you still doing up? It's 3am. Sigh. (Not that broccoli or insomnia don't happen, but you know the scenes I mean...right?)

you know the scenes I mean...right?

"Hi, darling. Glad you're safe home. Like my new teddy? (twirls) I think it's the perfect thing with which to seduce my many-layered and densely written husband-character, before heading back to my own job as a Second Assistant Public Defender and/or ER doctor, specialising in pediatrics. But wait, let me dish you up some dinner first - what are you - ooooh, fade to commercial!"

They really ought to provide air sickness bags for those.