That's good. Downtown.

I hear the lights are much brighter there, and you can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares.

Hah! Funny, Daniel.

Cindy, the story is very intriguing. I want to know more. Off the top of my head, I'm not sure I followed the explanation of Willow's power jumps and the First Slayer dreams and, for some reason, Dawn sounded like Willow and Kennedy sounded like Faith, to me. Those were the things that stood out to me. I don't really have time, right now, to go over it more carefully.

If you've got it in a mailable format, I'd be glad to look at it in more depth off the board if you want me to. I think you have my e-mail address, but my profile address is good, too.

Deena - you're so sweet. I don't have it in a mailable format, though. My MS Word is out of commission, and my mail is crappy webmail. The story would probably be too big for it. Thank you, though. I did also post it in my LJ for a limited group. I'm pretty sure you're on that. I don't know if that would make it more useful for you, or if you wanted to get into the text and mail back a copy with comments.

If (and only if) you get the time and the inclination at the same time (naps should be a higher priority), would you please give me examples of Dawn=Willow, Kennedy=Faith. I know I had trouble writing Kennedy, probably because each time the character was onscreen, I resented that she was getting so much time and attention. *g* Dawn felt easy for me though.

I'll make a note to take a look at Dawn's bit about Willow's power surges when I get back. (Should already be grey now--will be very soon.)

Thank you so much.

I wouldn't be surprised at some Kennedy-Faith overlap. They are both ballsy and used to getting their way.

Cindy, I've copied it and will make comments later. I've got it in my hot little hands now!

Am, I meant to say, and forgot, I absolutely LOVE the chemistry experiment exchange between Willow and Lex. That's really brilliant.

And Deb, also meant to say, and forgot, that I didn't realize that Ethan's adventure wasn't happening to him, and was highly weirded out by the line, "you raped my sister", and the stuff surrounding it. It seemed highly surreal, and now that I know it's not happening the way he thinks it's happening, that's cool. I'm wondering, though, maybe a stronger break between reality and non-reality for the readers? Though, I admit, I'm not super-careful-reader these days and probably missed the signal. I don't know if I told you or not, but I really liked the Third Thing That Should Have Happened in Sunnydale. That's pretty amazing.

SA, I know I didn't comment on yours, I'm sorry about that. I'm a chimp. I liked the Buffy with Giles one best (almost put a slash there). I especially liked the part where she looked down over Sunnydale and felt that connection with the other slayers. I think, though, that your Season 1 Giles wouldn't have been able to put Buffy through the Crucimenterium (sp?) and, so I think it might work a little bit better if it were post Helpless in season 3. It would be set up in canon, then, that he'd break Council rules to help her, and to explain things she shouldn't know rather than move the books to a new place and stop reading them when she came around.

The Lex and Clark one is intriguing, but toward the end, you have:

The schedule he is on, that they are both on,

In my opinion, the language is somewhat stiff throughout, which doesn't entirely fit Lex's character. He does work hard and he does have standards which would fit that kind of language. However, he's a playful, games playing kind of person, which is also illuminated in your story.

I tend to believe the language of a story should reflect the action. So, imo, the more he's thinking about how he's breaking his self-imposed rules/schedule and as it's revealed that the rigid schedule exists to help him succeed but also as cover for a little game he's playing, then the story language, as well, should be more casual to reflect that game playing that's going on behind the scenes.

This is just my opinion, but I hope it's helpful to you.

Coming from Small Town America, the main street concept is alive and kicking. Both Berea and my hometown have a street that runs all the way through town , usually from one end to the other with all the stores on that road. Everyone refers to it as "main street" or "the main road" even though there's another name for it. So it's always been a very real thing to me.

And Deena--thanks for the comments. The thing about Giles...hm. The thing about the Cruciamentum is that is was such a conflicted event for Giles, and while I see your point, I can see a Season One Giles trying to build a relationship with Buffy because there's a precedent for it with previous Watchers, and because he's beginning to genuinely care about her. I don't see that as messing with later events, because you really see Giles being frustrated and angry about the whole thing, working out his residual ties to the Council.

I'll take another look at the Smallville thing, see what I can do. It's only about 250 words, so it's not that big of a deal .

I can see a Season One Giles trying to build a relationship with Buffy because there's a precedent for it with previous Watchers, and because he's beginning to genuinely care about her.

This is true. I've been rewatching since the end of Season 7. I am angrier about their relationship in S7 now than I was when it happened.

Yeah. It made me nostalgic for earlier seasons.

Live journal ate my post. Argh.I exaggerate...it's up there. Just momentary weirdness.