Oh god, I could not stop laughing. I just... I can't breathe. I have to OWN this. I want an ANIMATED VERSION!

It's so wrong.

Nude Bruce! Krumping battle! Why the fuck is there a whale with Aquaman?

PLATO'S FUCKING CAVE.

In the last issue it's going to turn out he's locked up in Arkham, right?

In the last issue it's going to turn out he's locked up in Arkham, right?

No; it's going to turn out that all the readers are.

I am going to laugh if this turns out to be how the Joker perceives a lecture from batman.

I am going to laugh if this turns out to be how the Joker perceives a lecture from batman.

I will build a shrine to the writer if that's what this turns out to be. Because that is BRILLIANT.

The dialogue alone:

"I don't give a hydroelectric dam about this flap."

"Such an octopus of a thing!"

I am going to laugh if this turns out to be how the Joker perceives a lecture from batman.

Genius.

In sad semi-related news, RIP Michael Hough.

So I just finished reading the first volume of The Batman Chronicles, which reprints all the old Batman stories, starting with Detective Comics #27, and oh man, it is so weird to read comics from seventy years ago. They were very different back then and much more obviously for children, and the narration described everything that was clearly happening in the panel, and the dialogue was completely expository and terrible.

But, as I am sure everyone knows, one of the craziest thing about reading old Batman comics is that back in the day, BATMAN KILLED DUDES ALL THE TIME. It's kind of hilarious how much Batman kills dudes. And then he's like, "A fitting end for his kind." When did the whole "Batman doesn't kill" thing become part of his character? Also, when did he actually GET a character? Because I really don't understand how this man dressed up as a bat captured the hearts and minds of all of America. He seems like a generic crimefighter who happens to dress up as a bat. And constantly uses silk rope and gas capsules. And then makes bowling puns.

The original Joker stories were pretty good, though! And they totally used them for B:TAS!

ROBIN TOTALLY KILLS DUDES TOO.

Also: why have I never heard the name Bill Finger before? It's always Bob Kane, Bob Kane, Bob Kane, so I assumed he also wrote Batman, but he only drew him. Bill Finger wrote the first issue. Which, well, like I said, it's not like the writing was anything special or gave Batman any real semblance of character. It seems like all the Batman stories I've read are essentially using Frank Miller's version of the character. It's kind of odd, really; Bob Kane is always credited as the creator of Batman, but there's no official credit for redefining Batman.

It seems like all the Batman stories I've read are essentially using Frank Miller's version of the character.

The Batman run by Denny O'Neil and our nutbar friend Neal Adams in the early seventies was when the character really started to be redefined from his ultra-rational, always-getting-out-of-traps sixties version. I don't know if you've gotten up to that era, which is basically Claes Oldenburg's wet dream. Batman and Robin trapped in a giant typewriter! Batman and Robin trapped in a giant pippette of doom!

And yes, the credits on the golden age heroes is subject to lots of politics and Bill Finger deserves way more credit in Batman's creation.

Though Batman was pretty clearly modeled after early pulp heroes like the Shadow and The Spider. And Superman borrows a lot from Doc Savage. Green Lantern derives from the Skylark novels by E.E. Doc Smith, etc.