I've also heard the argument about Social Security benefits - that if gays marry, then the widowed/widowered spouse would be eligible for the benefits. To which I say, so would the spouse if they were straight. It evens out.

And Cindy - you are absolutely right. I would do all that and more for ANY girl/woman in that situation.

Aimee, my Target was sold out of cookie cutters (BASTARDS!).

Total bastards!

They are MORALLY WRONG and also SINNERS.

Hi Java cat!!

They are MORALLY WRONG and also SINNERS.

Ok, here's the deal: What I learned in Sunday School, church, and Bible club was that the word "sin" means "missing the mark". The fact that I have hideously poor hand-to-eye coordination means that I am inherently, by nature, without volition, a huge sinner. After a couple decades of bearing the shame of that sin, I realized that if that's what sin really is, then sin really isn't as big a deal as I thought it was.

ETA: I gotta add that this hasn't made me turn my back on having principles, ethics, morals, what-have-you - more that I am now much more likely to see "sin" as easily forgivable (both my own, and others') human foibles. And maybe that's what Jesus really wanted to get across, anyway.

Hugs and ~ma to them that needs 'em.

::hugs Andi::

Of course, I also think we should just have universal health care, which would solve the problem from both ends.

That would solve the health care issue, which is a big part of it, and I totally agree that should happen.

What frustrates me is that there are all sorts of unconventional families out there that work, but could work a lot better if people weren't so pigheaded. I've used before the example of two sisters who are single moms. One works outside of the home and the other takes care of all the kids. So, there's the health insurance issue for the stay at home mom and her kids, but there's also no retirement for her, no subsidized life insurance, nada.

A recent lawsuit has required the State of Alaska to provide benefits for same-sex partners, once they jump through hoops to prove that they're in a committed, homosexual relationship. However, if I understand the rules correctly, if they were friends who were committed to a long-term, nonsexual relationship and averse to telling lies, or the sisters I mentioned above, they would not be eligible for benefits. Of course, it's probably all for naught anyway: [link] Try BugMeNot for access.

I personally think that being able to construct a sentence in which the noun and verb agree is a necessary first step to critical thinking, so I wasn't able to get through the rest of Aimee's classmate's post.

Critical thinking is actually very tricky and difficult to do, and I've found that most people who are convinced they are good at it, or are doing it, aren't.

ION, I've been spending the morning counseling my DH. He's having a lot of cognitive dissonance between how he perceives himself and how other people perceive him. This has always happened, but he just had 3 whammies in a row: The Great Fat Caliper Fight of Ought-Six, a personal discussion where someone invited him to play games, and a professional thing where a foreign diplomat said he was undiplomatic.

(Interrupt: MY EYES!!!! I just had to see my cow-orker in his Speedos.)

Anyway, short form is that the DH comes across as being really negative and controlling and borderline asshole, and he really doesn't want to or think he is, and it's disturbing him that he can't accurately calibrate his behavior to the situation and the people. Now, in the "undiplomatic" situation, all the other Americans in the room have been stunned by the accusation, because they thought he was very diplomatic, so that could be a cultural thing. But I've seen this same pattern for the last 20 years, and I am out of ideas.

How do you get outside yourself and judge how you are coming across to people?

the other Americans in the room have been stunned by the accusation, because they thought he was very diplomatic, so that could be a cultural thing.

It could also be a "the other diplomat is an asshole" thing. Raq, the fact that he's realized the divide between his perception and others' is a big leap, and that should give him some hope.

How do you get outside yourself and judge how you are coming across to people?

I think some people have a lot more ability for introspection than others. The fact that he realizes there is a gap between how he perceives himeself and how others perceive him is a good sign. I also think that it can be a really long and painful process. With my twin sister, I had to become her reality mirror and provide her with some painful truths because she lacks a lot of that introspection ability. I think it helps when you can have someone around that you trust 100% to provide you with a reality check and can open your eyes without hurting your feelings too much.

Someone needs to shoot me in the head so I can get some sleep.

11:30 p.m. Liv starts a nighttime crying jag and won't go back to sleep.
1:00 a.m. I finally head to bed to try to get some sleep.
2:00 a.m. DH gets Olivia asleep and in bed.
2:30 a.m. Dogs whine. DH fills their water dish.
3:00 a.m. Dogs bark to go out. I get up and let them outside.
5:30 a.m. Liv cries out again but goes back to sleep on her own.
6:15 a.m. Cat risks his life by meowing and clawing at my bedroom door.
6:30 a.m. I lie awake, tensely waiting for one of the kids to wake up.
6:45 a.m. I finally say fuck it and am up for the day.

GRONK.

Both kids were up by 7:45. I found two spots where the cat barfed on the furniture after chewing on the Christmas tree.

I give up.

Universe, you win.

Even after you surrender, the universe keeps beating on you anyway. The universe has no respect for the white flag.

Sorry your day had such a bad start, Cash.