I personally think that being able to construct a sentence in which the noun and verb agree is a necessary first step to critical thinking, so I wasn't able to get through the rest of Aimee's classmate's post.

Critical thinking is actually very tricky and difficult to do, and I've found that most people who are convinced they are good at it, or are doing it, aren't.

ION, I've been spending the morning counseling my DH. He's having a lot of cognitive dissonance between how he perceives himself and how other people perceive him. This has always happened, but he just had 3 whammies in a row: The Great Fat Caliper Fight of Ought-Six, a personal discussion where someone invited him to play games, and a professional thing where a foreign diplomat said he was undiplomatic.

(Interrupt: MY EYES!!!! I just had to see my cow-orker in his Speedos.)

Anyway, short form is that the DH comes across as being really negative and controlling and borderline asshole, and he really doesn't want to or think he is, and it's disturbing him that he can't accurately calibrate his behavior to the situation and the people. Now, in the "undiplomatic" situation, all the other Americans in the room have been stunned by the accusation, because they thought he was very diplomatic, so that could be a cultural thing. But I've seen this same pattern for the last 20 years, and I am out of ideas.

How do you get outside yourself and judge how you are coming across to people?

the other Americans in the room have been stunned by the accusation, because they thought he was very diplomatic, so that could be a cultural thing.

It could also be a "the other diplomat is an asshole" thing. Raq, the fact that he's realized the divide between his perception and others' is a big leap, and that should give him some hope.

How do you get outside yourself and judge how you are coming across to people?

I think some people have a lot more ability for introspection than others. The fact that he realizes there is a gap between how he perceives himeself and how others perceive him is a good sign. I also think that it can be a really long and painful process. With my twin sister, I had to become her reality mirror and provide her with some painful truths because she lacks a lot of that introspection ability. I think it helps when you can have someone around that you trust 100% to provide you with a reality check and can open your eyes without hurting your feelings too much.

Someone needs to shoot me in the head so I can get some sleep.

11:30 p.m. Liv starts a nighttime crying jag and won't go back to sleep.
1:00 a.m. I finally head to bed to try to get some sleep.
2:00 a.m. DH gets Olivia asleep and in bed.
2:30 a.m. Dogs whine. DH fills their water dish.
3:00 a.m. Dogs bark to go out. I get up and let them outside.
5:30 a.m. Liv cries out again but goes back to sleep on her own.
6:15 a.m. Cat risks his life by meowing and clawing at my bedroom door.
6:30 a.m. I lie awake, tensely waiting for one of the kids to wake up.
6:45 a.m. I finally say fuck it and am up for the day.

GRONK.

Both kids were up by 7:45. I found two spots where the cat barfed on the furniture after chewing on the Christmas tree.

I give up.

Universe, you win.

Even after you surrender, the universe keeps beating on you anyway. The universe has no respect for the white flag.

Sorry your day had such a bad start, Cash.

I'm keeping in mind that it could always get worse, Ginger. So there's that.

Kids are chomping on bagels and Sam's outside getting into the trash.

If you listen carefully, you can hear the sound of my mother, laughing her ass off.

Cashmere, how is your back doing? Are you still thinking about the surgery, or when the shot kicked in, did that make you decide to wait some more?

Dear Liv,

He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. Right now? He knows too much. Knock it off.

Love,
Auntie Cindy

P.S. You might want to tell the puppers that Mommy hasn't yet bought the Christmas roast. ijs

Poor Cash. I hope you get a chance at a good nap later today.

Raq, does your hubby have Attention Deficit issues? If so, this book - What Does Everyone Else Know that I Don't? - was written to help. It's one of the odd things about AD/HD that although people who have it are often extremely sensitive in many ways, they also miss the boat on important social cues. The book could be extremely useful for people with other diagnoses, but it was written specifically for those with AD/HD. [link]

{{Cashmere}} Lack of sleep makes all the other stuff so much worse. No letting the universe win though. Snarl at it some. Kick it in the shins.

How do you get outside yourself and judge how you are coming across to people?

A most difficult process. But a huge step to see that he needs to do this. I think it would be very tough to take on the role of being his reality check as a spouse. Encouraging him to keep a journal of personal encounters to more carefully examine them himself might help.

There have been a couple times in my life where I was perceived as a person I am not and it was very upsetting. I think I would have been too defensive to easily accept help with it and had to work it out myself. (being defensive one of my issues)

That book looks really interesting Andi.