Cass and Libkitty - have a fun time together! Oh, you should go to the candy store and check up on A.
We had a lovely time. I picked libkitty in Dallas, we stopped here to watch Hugh Laurie's SNL intro, headed to the Hawthorne District for some lunch, went to Multnomah Falls and the Columbia River and then to the airport. It was the special "See Portland in four hours with Cass" tour. We missed the candy store and A. I should fix that tomorrow... Mmm, candy...
for those of us of an indolent inclination.
Isn't that most of us?
I think you all have reminded me that it really is important not to blame kids for their parents' failings. Even if the girls never noticed, I would know that I had been (perhaps) petty and I'd rather not be that way.
It really is, Stephanie. The girls aren't to blame for their parents' shortcomings. And figuring out what works in families, even - or *especially* - or own, is never easy.
I know that my stepmom expects Christmas gifts for everyone no matter what is going on in your life. I just finally accepted that and will never show up empty handed, better to skip things altogether if that is how bad things are for me. But? I know. And I can work within those parameters. I don't have to like them, I just have to realize that they are there.
The realizing of familial expectations is also why I am very good at thank you notes. It was expected in my family and I just do them now. Of course, my favorite ones are the ones where a note isn't technically required because those I am doing just to thank someone for something joyous or thoughtful. I also don't really expect one for most gifts I give. I give because I want to, and I hate loading those guns. I also consider email or a call sufficient to acknowledge and voice appreciation for a gift.
Actually I'm thinking of getting my older niece (she's 8 1/2 now) cool stationery as part of her xmas present. Maybe that will be a little incentive to write!
Personalized stationary rocks. And can be had at rock bottom prices as well.
It's a basic of good manners that every single authority on good manners accepts. But that being said, not all of us adhere to all tenets of good manners. I consder myself civilized but there are many MANY ways I fall short or ignore accepted courtesies.
I am being serious when I say that it's a custom of which I was essentially unaware until my late teens, and that it is one that goes deeply counter to my father's personal beliefs regarding what is and is not an obligation.
(I have no doubt that he was raised with it, just like he was raised to know which fork to use and how to properly pass things 'round a table. He just doen't accept any of that as valid or necessary.)
I'm better about it now, though my timing is still pretty spotty. Baby steps.
*ahem*
JenP, Thank you very much for sending me the BSG miniseries last millennium. The backstory was very helpful in filling in bits after you got me hooked on the show. Yours, Cass
I like getting thank you notes, so I want to be better at writing them.
This whole conversation is making me think about etiquette in general. Maybe I have a stick up my ass, but I think it's important to know what accepted manners are before deciding which ones I am going to ignore or change. My neices and nephews never write thank you notes, or acknowedge gifts in any way and that is sad thing, IMO. I also feel wicked cranky that in southern California it seems to be okay to RSVP to a party and then just not show up and not call. What do y'all think?
I also feel wicked cranky that in southern California it seems to be okay to RSVP to a party and then just not show up and not call.
Are you talking Evite RSVPs or phone/paper ones? I think the idea of showing up unRSVPed to a paper invitation is rude. I think the idea of RSVPing in any form and then not showing without at least an apology afterwards is rude.
So it seems I'm devaluing Evites at least a little. I should be more consistent.
When I was home we were doscussing whether answering an email on your bklackberry while having dinner with someone is rude. I would thinkl the same rules as a cellphone call would apply.
We missed the candy store and A. I should fix that tomorrow... Mmm, candy...
Oooh! Yes. Yes you should. And tell Puppycat to back off of the Kittenish food.
Speaking of candy - has anyone seen the wax fangs (red wax lips with the white wax fangs) in any of the chain-type stores? I found them in Portland with Cass but only at the specialty candy store. I'd like to find some locally but have only found the big wax lips so far. No fangs.
Maybe I have a stick up my ass, but I think it's important to know what accepted manners are before deciding which ones I am going to ignore or change.
I think it is important, both to know the rules of etiquette and then actively decide which you are accepting and following and which you are not. Informed consent of a sort.
I hated being made to sit down and write thank you notes as a kid but I am glad now that I know about it and I think it is an oft overlooked art of just stopping and acknowledging that someone thought of you and bought or did something for you. That said? I am heading to hell on the road that those good intentions have paved at times. My procrastination wrecks havoc on my correspondence at times.
I also feel wicked cranky that in southern California it seems to be okay to RSVP to a party and then just not show up and not call.
Party foul in my book. If you say you are coming? They you really need to clearly say if you are later not coming.
What do y'all think?
Hate that, especially when it's for a special occasion.
And may I add, I have done the very thing I am bitching about (RSVPed and not shown up) because I kinda suck. Not often though.
