With respect to those who don't choose to write them, thank you notes are good manners, period. I firmly believe this, and I say this having a sadly spotty record at sending them. I make sure to send them to folks I don't talk to a lot but am not as good with people I can email. Really, though, lazy as I am, I know iit's basic courtesy and I aim to be better at it.

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I know it's basic courtesy and I aim to be better at it.

Me too! Plus there is just some very cool stationery out there. I have the same problem with my brother's girls not sending thank you cards (and parents not calling to say presents have arrived). And I know its not that they don't appreciate the presents (evidently my older niece carried around the last thing I sent her, a Little Lulu collection, for weeks!). Actually I'm thinking of getting my older niece (she's 8 1/2 now) cool stationery as part of her xmas present. Maybe that will be a little incentive to write!

I know it's basic courtesy and I aim to be better at it.

Me too! And Robin, thanks for linking to that website. I plan to use its advice when I inevitably get stuck for what to say.

Hangs head in shame. I have not been good about sending cards myself or making the boys do it. I call and/or email, but not so good about the written note. (thks for the linky)

Also Stephanie, no need to feel petty. It isn't petty to feel hurt. It's natural.

I'm very bad at thank you cards. I'm trying to raise Lillian to send them, but honestly, they're utterly foreign to how I was raised. It doesn't come naturally to me to send them *at all*, and I bristle a bit at the notion that this makes me less of a civilized person.

I like gift acknowledgment, but I'm not picky about the form -- to be honest, the last time anyone sent me a thank-you note, I ended up calling them before I got it to make sure the gift had arrived because I assumed (since I hadn't gotten an email or a phone call) that it had been lost in the mail.

My grandparents, on the other hand, will bitch about not getting a thank-you note even after being thanked in person. It's a mentality I was raised with (or at least around), and I still don't understand it.

I know it's basic courtesy and I aim to be better at it.

I agree and also aim to improve. I was raised to send them, but I just haven't always done it when it's been up to, you know, just me. I'm better about it now, though my timing is still pretty spotty. Baby steps.

It's a basic of good manners that every single authority on good manners accepts. But that being said, not all of us adhere to all tenets of good manners. I consder myself civilized but there are many MANY ways I fall short or ignore accepted courtesies.

I always say thank you, always, but I don't think it has to be a mailed thank you note. Etiquette experts aside, I think communication methods have changed enough that the US mail no longer has a monopoly.

I was raised to send thank you notes. Within a week or two after every birthday party, I'd always have to sit down and write thank you notes to everyone. Lately, I've been kind of slacking off about sending them, but I still feel like I ought to.