Nora, just ask her if she can wait until she leaves before putting her shoes on. She may not be aware how loud it is to you guys.

Done and done.

If she could please stop talking about how irresponsible I am with my own finances, not that I don't know any of that already, that would be nice.

Ugh, I'm sorry, SA. Lots of people defer student loan stuff; I myself did it for the maximum time. I wouldn't really recommend doing it for that long, because the interest is a killer, but you gotta do what you gotta do, and you'll figure out the financial stuff.

I also highly recommend trying to maneuver into a situation where your parents do not know your day to day financial matters, if at all possible.

I also highly recommend trying to maneuver into a situation where your parents do not know your day to day financial matters, if at all possible.

Yes. This. I had a friend who was getting her doctorate--meaning a loooong 10 years in school. Even after she graduated, got a job and was paying all her own bills, her mother would find her checkbook in her purse when she was home visiting, go through it and start lecturing her on her finances. My friend finally put her foot down and figured out a way to keep her mother out of her finances but it wasn't easy.

thank you for all being sane. I have no perspective.

Ugh, I'm sorry, SA. Lots of people defer student loan stuff; I myself did it for the maximum time. I wouldn't really recommend doing it for that long, because the interest is a killer, but you gotta do what you gotta do, and you'll figure out the financial stuff.

See, the thing is, I'm pretty sure I can defer it because I'm not making enough money in the States to pay it off. I'm not exactly thrilled about it, but dude. In another country. Can't worry about this right now.

I also highly recommend trying to maneuver into a situation where your parents do not know your day to day financial matters, if at all possible.

I managed that for a long time, but what with my parents receiving my mail and then *opening* my mail, they then decide they can lecture me about things. Like fiscal stability is my most important concern right now. And I'm not being flippant--it's really not. I can worry about that when I have, you know, a career.

Yes. This. I had a friend who was getting her doctorate--meaning a loooong 10 years in school. Even after she graduated, got a job and was paying all her own bills, her mother would find her checkbook in her purse when she was home visiting, go through it and start lecturing her on her finances. My friend finally put her foot down and figured out a way to keep her mother out of her finances but it wasn't easy.

oh my god what a nightmare.

I just wish I didn't have to deal with her email-yelling at me about not having my credit cards paid off, and starting to pay my student loans, and not paying her the $100 she deposited into my account without me asking her too. (I mean, it was to repair a balance discrepancy, which I'm glad was fixed, but I didn't ask her to, nor did I ever say I wouldn't pay her back.)

It doesn't help that I'm in another country and I don't have ready access to all of this stuff either. *kicks things* stupid money.

SA, I'd say let them rant but blow them off. Their concerns are parental concerns and yeah, at least they're worried about you.

But you're in the middle of a great experience. How many other people are taking the challenge of travelling and working in another country while they're young and before they have settled down with a career and all the baggage? Not very many. You're having an adventure that is priceless. And if that means deferring student loan payments for a while or paying a little extra credit card interest, I say fucking go for it. Your parents will always worry and may always bitch about it but keep their interferring to a minimum and keep it in perspective. They bitch because they love and worry about you. You're still the one making the decisions and dealing with the issues in the end, which you should be proud of.

SA, what Cashmere said. It will be soon enough once you get back Stateside to taking care of business.

IOmeN, I have not been very responsible with my money and I'm pretty grown-up. I called today to get rid of my expanded cable. It will save me $43 a month. Go me. All because I can't keep my credit cards in my pocket, sigh. At least with basic cable I'll still get TLC and that kind of stuff. I was afraid I'd lose the SciFi channel, but it's part of basic! Yay!

Actually, you aren't being irresponsible, you are makeing choices. and you are willing to do what you have to do ( make the call to the loan people) so that things are done right. give yourself a ceiling for the credit card debtand don't worry about it too much. It sounds to me like you are doing the right thing in other wasy - like thinking of cheap food that you can eat for three days. Mom's ranting, parental concern. she is going to see everything now, so she knows more than she should. But you are just out of college, so parents tend to stay invovled longer than they should

But , you might want to consider on line bill paying. because a lot of bills can be sent to you electronicly. You hae to pay some attention, but I find it is also a decent way to budget

But , you might want to consider on line bill paying. because a lot of bills can be sent to you electronicly. You hae to pay some attention, but I find it is also a decent way to budget

This. I pay all my bills online, now. Nearly all of them will send e-mail reminders of when they are due. I put a follow-up flag on them for 5 days before the bill is due. I make many fewer late payments this way.

on a good day - the bill arrives and I put it in the queue to be paid on the day it is due. on a bad day - I remeber two days before - and it still goes out on time. On a really bad day - I pay it late, but it is paid the day after I remember it.

Good luck DJ and brenda! May the work force be with you!

Even after she graduated, got a job and was paying all her own bills, her mother would find her checkbook in her purse when she was home visiting, go through it and start lecturing her on her finances. My friend finally put her foot down and figured out a way to keep her mother out of her finances but it wasn't easy.

Straitjacket? Superglued her fingers? Asp in the purse?

you might want to consider on line bill paying

beth is wise. This has so thoroughly saved my ass and what remains of my credit rating over the past four years. GODSEND.

Also, I'm sending loads of back-waaaay-off-ma to your parents, because that's just a whole load of stress that you really don't need (also, it sounds like you're totally aware of and clear on the issues already; you truly don't need your parents, however well-meaning and genuinely concerned they are, poking and poking at the sore spots).