Actually, you aren't being irresponsible, you are makeing choices. and you are willing to do what you have to do ( make the call to the loan people) so that things are done right. give yourself a ceiling for the credit card debtand don't worry about it too much. It sounds to me like you are doing the right thing in other wasy - like thinking of cheap food that you can eat for three days. Mom's ranting, parental concern. she is going to see everything now, so she knows more than she should. But you are just out of college, so parents tend to stay invovled longer than they should

But , you might want to consider on line bill paying. because a lot of bills can be sent to you electronicly. You hae to pay some attention, but I find it is also a decent way to budget

But , you might want to consider on line bill paying. because a lot of bills can be sent to you electronicly. You hae to pay some attention, but I find it is also a decent way to budget

This. I pay all my bills online, now. Nearly all of them will send e-mail reminders of when they are due. I put a follow-up flag on them for 5 days before the bill is due. I make many fewer late payments this way.

on a good day - the bill arrives and I put it in the queue to be paid on the day it is due. on a bad day - I remeber two days before - and it still goes out on time. On a really bad day - I pay it late, but it is paid the day after I remember it.

Good luck DJ and brenda! May the work force be with you!

Even after she graduated, got a job and was paying all her own bills, her mother would find her checkbook in her purse when she was home visiting, go through it and start lecturing her on her finances. My friend finally put her foot down and figured out a way to keep her mother out of her finances but it wasn't easy.

Straitjacket? Superglued her fingers? Asp in the purse?

you might want to consider on line bill paying

beth is wise. This has so thoroughly saved my ass and what remains of my credit rating over the past four years. GODSEND.

Also, I'm sending loads of back-waaaay-off-ma to your parents, because that's just a whole load of stress that you really don't need (also, it sounds like you're totally aware of and clear on the issues already; you truly don't need your parents, however well-meaning and genuinely concerned they are, poking and poking at the sore spots).

JZ, if you are still around, did you happen to receive a package w/o a note, postmark Puerto Rico, recently? I'm def. *not* fishing for a thank you, but I just want to make sure you got it!

It would help if I could figure out a way to get money from here to home without having to go through my parents. I set up online banking here, but it doesn't work for American bills yet, which is a frustration. I think I'm going to have to email my mother back saying back off. Because I seriously can't take this support-of-what-you're-doing one day and you're-ruining-your-financial-future on another. It can't be both ways. Sometimes you have to take risks to do what's right for you.

SA, I had a huge fight with my parents when I went to France for a summer. My best friend had offered to take care of my bills when I was gone, I said thanks, and thought nothign more about it. My parents found out about it and flipped out, going on and on about privacy, and trust, etc. I said "this is the woman that you call your second daughter, what is your problem? This is not your call. I'm sorry that you're upset, I really don't understand why. She offered, I accepted. And I know that she is going to do what I ask without comment or criticism." (with the implication that they would not) They were pissed, but got over it.

(the point of the story is the last bit. )

Straitjacket? Superglued her fingers? Asp in the purse?

Lots of discussion and therapy (on my friend's part). It was a combination of a very mild mannered child with a very autocratic parent. M's problems included her own fear of independence (hence her reliance on her mother for advice and reluctance to set definite boundaries for her mother concerning her finances.) and her guilt issues since her mother helped her pay for school. Her mother didn't think she was doing anything wrong until M told her in no uncertain terms that it was wrong. Her mother also sort of held out her "help" in coercing M to give in a lot. M was so afraid of needing her mother's financial help in case of an emergency, that she relinquished some of her independence in exchange for her mother's continued promises of assistance.

But she did consider the snake in the purse, too.

Her mother didn't think she was doing anything wrong

how is this not wrong? Boundaries, people!