Spike ,'Smile Time'
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risque (and frisque), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
I'm responsible for my behavior (including what I post) - not her reaction to it.It's yelling, "Fire!" in the crowded theatre... Yes, you have free speech but say some things and you *are* responsible for the reactions. In this case, I feel you were out of line.
I suddenly feel very sorry for JZ.Fighting mean with mean is probably not the best scenario. t /Doblerette
I mean seriously, are you so bored on a Saturday night that you can't even dig up some semblance of empathy for a suck-ass situation that someone is in?
Yes, Aimee, it's right here on my calendar. "Stir up shit on the board and upset vw for no particular reason."
I thought it was a dangerous illusion for vw to believe she could spot a sociopath or abuser. Certainly there are signs to look for; certainly it's better to be wary and on guard. But presuming that she could spot an abuser without evidence seemed as dangerous as blind trust.
That seemed more useful than empathy, but apparently not. I was mistaken.
You are correct Cass. I typed and posted when I should have been more thoughtful. My apologies.
What Cass said.
Perhaps we could all use some Doblerizing.
Yes, Aimee, it's right here on my calendar. "Stir up shit on the board and upset vw for no particular reason."
Well, it seemed like it.
I thought it was a dangerous illusion for vw to believe she could spot a sociopath or abuser. Certainly there are signs to look for; certainly it's better to be wary and on guard. But presuming that she could spot an abuser without evidence seemed as dangerous as blind trust.
And this is ten thousand times better a way to express that concern for her than to say what you did in the way that you said it. And last I checked, while you are her friend, you aren't her therapist and if her therapist or doctors think she needs to change her illusions, they'll work on it with her.
I suddenly feel very sorry for JZ.
Yeah.
You said you were sorry she was upset. You did not say, "I am sorry that what I said upset you." Vast difference. And you know it.
I said: "I'm sorry to upset you, vw"
I think that scans as "I'm sorry that I upset you" not "I'm sorry you're upset."
If it doesn't, then let me make that explicit: I am definitely sorry that I said anything that upset vw by tone or content. I did not want to upset her.
You are correct Cass. I typed and posted when I should have been more thoughtful. My apologies.It just seemed out of character for you. Tensions are running high right now.
And last I checked, while you are her friend, you aren't her therapist and if her therapist or doctors think she needs to change her illusions, they'll work on it with her.
Honestly Aims, I don't see you as being the kind of friend who would hold her tongue if you thought a friend was deluded.
Honestly Aims, I don't see you as being the kind of friend who would hold her tongue if you thought a friend was deluded.
I'm not. But as I said, I would have come up with a better way to express my concern instead of just poking at her, which is what your initial question seemed like, and not just to me, but to her. If I couldn't express it in a constructive way, I *would* hold my tongue and support them in whatever way helped them.