Spike's Bitches 32: I think I'm sobering up.
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risque (and frisque), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
I've been thinking about the need to be away from your significant other, whether because you've been around each other too much lately or because you need to establish yourself as a whole other person again, and I suppose that could be justification for a "boys night out."
This is what it usually translates to, from my limited and severely messed up experience...
But even then, wouldn't it just be easier to say, "I need to get away from youandme for a while, you could probably use the break too why don't you go grab that comic book/yarn/bath crap you've been eyeing and have yourself a night while I go out."
It would be easier. It took DxH and I years, too many fights until we had finally had a conversation that explained what we both really needed and felt. Kinda wished we could have gotten there easier. And sooner. So much depends on communication and good communication at that. But it is so hard sometimes.
Crap, that was way more Meeee than I intended...
I am so sorry that you had a fight and are feeling all stressed out from it.
It was a very shitty thing to say. I mean isn't that one of the first things they teach you about how to be a modern man in a progressive (relatively) society "You don't get to tell them how to feel anymore. Suck it up and deal."
And I mean, I didn't leave the rings on the counter and pack my bags or anything-but I don't understand the stupid.
t makes out with Aimee
Just out of MM's sight, cause I am all about the evil.
Men do tend to put on a front in front of women - company manners, so to speak. Many of them would feel obliged to put that front on if one of their number were to be vagina-having. Having to keep up company manners on what is supposed to be a time of relaxing amongst the guys kinda defeats the purpose. I think it ranks up there with gaggles of girls going to the restroom together - which I grok considerably less than the boys' night out. What is there to disagree about, unless he bailed on plans that you had made to do something special together in order to breathe in teh XY air?
Crap, that was way more Meeee than I intended...
No, I'm always interested in how other people handle relationships. My mother only really got a good marriage once I was out of the house (I wonder how much of that was not having to fight with someone over what their job in child rearing was. By the time they were married, we were all reared). I'm not overly fond of most of my friends marriages (I mean for me. If they're happy, I'm cool.) Before we got married I told him I wouldn't be "The Wife" whatever that is, and it's a struggle because crap like boys night out sucks you right back in.
I'd happily see traditional marriage smashed to bits- Go team HoYay!
Joe would have his boys night out when he gamed. But now, because of Em, and because I work Saturdays, they game here. I very rarely take a girl's night. But then, I never really did.
This post has no bearing on anything.
I would've liked to go down to the club with our friends too (ETA- see Aimee, thanks cause that would be the difference, if it were say, night golfing- please leave me out of it), or at least not be alone for the fourth night in a row. Wednesdays are the first day after many of not seeing each other at all that we get to have any time together. And I'm not really the type to need fifty of my friends to pee, but thanks.
I also don't understand better manners in front of girls. Are they only acting like decent humans in front of us, and then behind our backs they're assholes. I don't think that's true. And I can't think of much my friends couldn't say in front of me that they'd say any other time. Unless they really are a bunch of racist, misogynist bigots who hate me and I've just never noticed because it's only done away from girls while we go chat in between hair fluffs in the bathroom.
Sorry but this:
What is there to disagree about, unless he bailed on plans that you had made to do something special together in order to breathe in teh XY air?
Not cool to say to someone you don't know very well.
Sweetie, I think she was just asking you a question, not trying to be rude.
Sorry I took offense then. It just read like a question of being over needy- being called overly needy can make you sensitive to that.
I do apologize.
No, I'm always interested in how other people handle relationships.
Oh good. I read what I wrote and then wasn't sure if it was intrudey or explainy.
I think the thing with "Boys Night Out" or just a night out alone is that it can mean so many different things within even one relationship. Some good, some okay, some bad and some where a nice round of honesty is called for. So fucking complicated.
Might want to hang out with people you don't gel with, might want to talk "boy" in a purely not creepy kind of way, might want to pretend to be single for a night, might want to go out with people he just doesn't care about in the same way, might be bunnies.
