I would've liked to go down to the club with our friends too (ETA- see Aimee, thanks cause that would be the difference, if it were say, night golfing- please leave me out of it), or at least not be alone for the fourth night in a row. Wednesdays are the first day after many of not seeing each other at all that we get to have any time together. And I'm not really the type to need fifty of my friends to pee, but thanks.
I also don't understand better manners in front of girls. Are they only acting like decent humans in front of us, and then behind our backs they're assholes. I don't think that's true. And I can't think of much my friends couldn't say in front of me that they'd say any other time. Unless they really are a bunch of racist, misogynist bigots who hate me and I've just never noticed because it's only done away from girls while we go chat in between hair fluffs in the bathroom.
Sorry but this:
What is there to disagree about, unless he bailed on plans that you had made to do something special together in order to breathe in teh XY air?
Not cool to say to someone you don't know very well.
Sweetie, I think she was just asking you a question, not trying to be rude.
Sorry I took offense then. It just read like a question of being over needy- being called overly needy can make you sensitive to that.
I do apologize.
No, I'm always interested in how other people handle relationships.
Oh good. I read what I wrote and then wasn't sure if it was intrudey or explainy.
I think the thing with "Boys Night Out" or just a night out alone is that it can mean so many different things within even one relationship. Some good, some okay, some bad and some where a nice round of honesty is called for. So fucking complicated.
Might want to hang out with people you don't gel with, might want to talk "boy" in a purely not creepy kind of way, might want to pretend to be single for a night, might want to go out with people he just doesn't care about in the same way, might be bunnies.
You're angry and hurt. Easy to take things the wrong way.
or at least not be alone for the fourth night in a row
sounds to me like that was the real problem.
Here's what I am guessing - if boy's night is a tradition - as in done before - you aren't going to change it. The when and how of it - are changable. In my house - that means I have to become superrational about explaining how I feel , why I feel, with the constant reminder to both DH and myself - what do I/we want to get out of this.
I don't think it's a mtter of being not a decent person, I think it's more a style of relating. The DH can go play poker with friends for an evening and the guys can never EVER say one thing I would consider personal, yet have a great time. One guy he plays with we also spend a lot of time with as couples and with both the women in their lives are there, we all talk more about work, feelings, their kids, etc. I think my DH likes having both types of relating in his life and I can see why he wants that guy vibe sometimes. I like being around only female energy once in a while myself. It's not better, just different.
I was just gonna say - fourth night in a row is a lot of nights.
Was he out playing every night, or at work? If her was out socializing, then I would be kinda ticked myself.
He works. Boys night out isn't traditional for us. I don't do tradition. What I mean is there's never been a "I'm only going to hang out with men, dear." We have such a mixed group of friends that whether seperate or together, we're probably with mixed sex. I can't think of a time when we explicitly excluded one or the other. I don't exclude him when S and I are going out if he wants to come because they're friends too. Why would I? I'm not terribly coupley either so that's confusing. And about 1/3 of those guys are better friends with me than him.
ETA- Work. Sunday, Monday and Tuesday we see each other for a total of half an hour- until Wednesday evenings. Which works since we're both only children.
