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Buffy ,'Chosen'

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Steph L. - Jul 07, 2003 8:47:17 am PDT #1491 of 10001

I look more rad than Lutheranism

New acrostic poem for class tonight. Thoughts?

Solstice

Somnolence settles over the landscape, as black-eyed Susans
Undulate in the breeze (the breeze
Murmuring enticements that tickle the ear and
Melt all resolve to work, study, clean):
Expectations trickle away with the
Rivulets that run down my glass.

***

Question: line 3 -- "Murmuring" or "Murmurs"?

Katie M - Jul 07, 2003 8:57:28 am PDT #1492 of 10001

I was charmed (albeit somewhat perplexed) by the fannish sensibility of many of the music choices -- it's like the director was trying to vid Canada. --loligo on the Olympic Opening Ceremonies

I like murmuring better.

erikaj - Jul 07, 2003 8:59:24 am PDT #1493 of 10001

Always Anti-fascist!

but murmurs fits the tense you have going, Tep.

Am-Chau Yarkona - Jul 07, 2003 9:04:58 am PDT #1494 of 10001

I bop to Wittgenstein. -- Nutty

I think murmuring works.

Steph L. - Jul 07, 2003 9:09:39 am PDT #1495 of 10001

I look more rad than Lutheranism

And the rest of it?

Am-Chau Yarkona - Jul 07, 2003 9:12:45 am PDT #1496 of 10001

I bop to Wittgenstein. -- Nutty

I like it. I have a nagging feeling that I don't quite have the background to understand it (I assume a black-eyed Susan is a kind of flower?) but I like the tone of it and I can definately identify with the feeling.

Katie M - Jul 07, 2003 9:13:14 am PDT #1497 of 10001

I was charmed (albeit somewhat perplexed) by the fannish sensibility of many of the music choices -- it's like the director was trying to vid Canada. --loligo on the Olympic Opening Ceremonies

I like the repeat of "the breeze" a lot - it all flows really comfortably up to "expectations," and then feels a little stilted to me. Something about the "with the" I think.

erikaj - Jul 07, 2003 9:17:09 am PDT #1498 of 10001

Always Anti-fascist!

Oh, yeah, Tep. It sounds beautiful, but this desert-dweller can't really picture what a blackeyed Susan looks like. I wrote an acrostic recently but I wrote it cause I was upset. May need some time to pass before I share.

Steph L. - Jul 07, 2003 9:18:28 am PDT #1499 of 10001

I look more rad than Lutheranism

Black-eyed Susan. Common summer flower 'round these here parts.

erikaj - Jul 07, 2003 9:20:27 am PDT #1500 of 10001

Always Anti-fascist!

They're really pretty. I can see why you would put them in.

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