I like murmuring better.
We have to see the chimp playing hockey! That's hilarious! The ice is so slippery, and, and monkeys are all irrational. We have to see this!
Anya ,'Bring On The Night'
The Great Write Way
A place for Buffistas to discuss, beta and otherwise deal and dish on their non-fan fiction projects.
Katie M - Jul 07, 2003 8:57:28 am PDT #1492 of 10001
I was charmed (albeit somewhat perplexed) by the fannish sensibility of many of the music choices -- it's like the director was trying to vid Canada. --loligo on the Olympic Opening Ceremonies
erikaj - Jul 07, 2003 8:59:24 am PDT #1493 of 10001
Always Anti-fascist!
but murmurs fits the tense you have going, Tep.
Am-Chau Yarkona - Jul 07, 2003 9:04:58 am PDT #1494 of 10001
I bop to Wittgenstein. -- Nutty
I think murmuring works.
Steph L. - Jul 07, 2003 9:09:39 am PDT #1495 of 10001
this mess was yours / now your mess is mine
And the rest of it?
Am-Chau Yarkona - Jul 07, 2003 9:12:45 am PDT #1496 of 10001
I bop to Wittgenstein. -- Nutty
I like it. I have a nagging feeling that I don't quite have the background to understand it (I assume a black-eyed Susan is a kind of flower?) but I like the tone of it and I can definately identify with the feeling.
Katie M - Jul 07, 2003 9:13:14 am PDT #1497 of 10001
I was charmed (albeit somewhat perplexed) by the fannish sensibility of many of the music choices -- it's like the director was trying to vid Canada. --loligo on the Olympic Opening Ceremonies
I like the repeat of "the breeze" a lot - it all flows really comfortably up to "expectations," and then feels a little stilted to me. Something about the "with the" I think.
erikaj - Jul 07, 2003 9:17:09 am PDT #1498 of 10001
Always Anti-fascist!
Oh, yeah, Tep. It sounds beautiful, but this desert-dweller can't really picture what a blackeyed Susan looks like. I wrote an acrostic recently but I wrote it cause I was upset. May need some time to pass before I share.
Steph L. - Jul 07, 2003 9:18:28 am PDT #1499 of 10001
this mess was yours / now your mess is mine
Black-eyed Susan. Common summer flower 'round these here parts.
erikaj - Jul 07, 2003 9:20:27 am PDT #1500 of 10001
Always Anti-fascist!
They're really pretty. I can see why you would put them in.
Am-Chau Yarkona - Jul 07, 2003 9:22:01 am PDT #1501 of 10001
I bop to Wittgenstein. -- Nutty
Thanks for the linky, Steph. Pretty flower. (I learn something new every day on this board!) I can see why that image fits in the poem well.