( continues...) forgotten to count himself, he said, but it sure didn't lessen the effect. Food started arriving. My cousin had a big bowl of chicken fried rice. Which he proceeded to dig into with his spoon. So I guess it was, in fact, individual dishes for everyone. Whatever.
As food continued to arrive, it became clear that I hadn't ordered anything. They told me to order something, but I said I was fine. "I'm fine" is like a fucking catchphrase for me. I couldn't explain my neurosis to them. That I didn't want to make them pay for me. That I didn't want to be a burden.
Then I felt like a total douche as people began offering me their food, and I reluctantly took it. My aunt and uncle kept saying I should order something, but I said I was fine. The scraps would do. All I needed was scraps, like I was a dog.
If anyone saw my tears, they could assume it was due to the spiciness of the chicken.
{{{{P-C}}}}
~ma for Raq and Vortex.
super~ma for Beverly and StE and your whole family.
Happy b-day, Katerina B.
{{{{{{{{{{P-C}}}}}}}}}}
As part of your second family, I think I speak for all when I say you get no scraps at this table. Full plate, always.
t /damn allergies
They didn't do anything wrong, though. It was all my own stupid fault.
Well, I think you've finally convinced me that your mother is right, P-C.
"And she should be Gujarati. Please don't pick a white or black or anything. They never work out...Their views aren't the same as our views. They rarely work out. Very low chances. Maybe one in a hundred."
Speaking as a non-Gujarati white chick, my views of how families should treat each other and deal with monetary issues and going out are definitely not the same as your family's views.
It was all my own stupid fault.
Next time you'll get the fried rice. All these tricky social codes to negotiate.
I disagree. They put you in an impossible position.
I don't really know that I understood how the ordering process worked at the restaurant, but I'm guessing it was a step up and order what you want kind of thing? If my family was out together, everyone would get a chance to order, and if someone wasn't ordering we'd badger them three ways to Sunday to make sure that maybe they'd want a little something, etc. It seems a little inconsiderate to not at least check to see if you wanted something, whether you're expected to pay for yourself or not.
But then again, I'm a white chick, so...
More {{{ }}}.
Please don't pick a white or black or anything. They never work out...
I am a bad person, because I keep thinking this ought to be someone's tag line.
They didn't do anything wrong, though. It was all my own stupid fault.
You know what, sweetie, I had a whole big thing on [what follows] before, but deleted it, because I thought maybe you needed empathy more than advice. This time, I offer it not as advice, but hope.
You are becoming more and more self-sufficient. As you break the housing and financial ties with your family, you will start to feel yourself coming into your own. Getting your own place is a HUGE step in this direction. And once you feel you can, refusing any help that you can reasonably refuse (that is, refusing any help that isn't bail, or somehow going to keep you from starving or bleeding to death, or end up sleeping on the streets) you will start to be able to refuse other things as well. Your family may never see it that way, but you won't feel as beholden to them, once you're no longer relying on their generosity. It's one of the most difficult parts of growing up, but it's also one of the most gratifying.
