I now want to take pH indicators to Steph's sweaty body. In the interest of science.

Remember to fill out the proper forms to get approved by the DHS for the use of litmus paper.

Much ~ma for your friend and his family, Beth.

Oh, Beth, much ma to them. Also, if things don't improve, you might want to talk to Laura.

The golden-eyed boy is now known as Tzepesh, and green-eyes is Ruthven.

Or for short, Jet and Jack.

Steph! Did you know that Mattel is now selling a Play-doh perfume? You are so ahead of the times. Also maybe you should sue.

Tons of ~ma for your friend B and his family, beth.

P-C, I'm so sorry you have to go through that with your mother. Just keep in mind that you are a good person and that it behooves her to cut you down, so that she can (in her own mind) retain control of you by having to teach you how to be a good person. You know you are, your uncle knows you are. I dislike saying this because I know you don't want to cut yourself off from the rest of your family, but I think your mother needs a time out. A major time out, where once she realizes no one will see you if she doesn't back off, she may finally give up trying to manipulate you. Plus, can you talk to your dad? See if he and your brother would be interested in coming out to visit you? If they're concerned with cost, offer to buy one of the plane tickets. Seriously, your mother needs to learn to back the fuck off. Anway, I know this is totally unsolicited advice coming from me, but I just want you to have as many options open to you as possible. So, if something I say does help in any way, shape or form, I'll feel like I helped a little, even from a distance. Bunches of ~ma to you to help you through the trying times.

Oh, P-C, I got distracted and forgot to say: try to remember from now on, you have independent confirmation from within the family that it's not you, it's your mom. Hang in there.

{{P-C}} Honey, I have no advice, but I do have a shoulder and ears. And long distance hugs. You are such a good person and smart and funny and I wish Life would just be easier for you.

Which hairdo should I get?

I liked 1, 2 & 4.

But I was denied seeing the picture of GC! What a disappointment.

P-Cow, I'm glad your uncle was able to give you some perspective.

It's going to be a lot better when you're living on your own.

Oh, P-C, I got distracted and forgot to say: try to remember from now on, you have independent confirmation from within the family that it's not you, it's your mom. Hang in there.

Word.

"It's cultural" has its limits. And *ding ding ding ding* it looks like you've found them.

t snuggles PC

t CHASTELY. Mrs. Cow

t Hmm.. just called your mother a cow

t did not mean this in an mean way

t or a reverent way, actually

1. P-C, that sucks beyond sucking. I'd give advice, but I think all I'd say is something to the effect of "Don't mind her; she's a daft old bat." So I won't.

2. I am grading exams. Donwanna. I have 29 more. I also have another 6 movie projects to grade. And my mom is going to see my place at 10AM, so I'd best clean it too.

3. Why does my Tivo think I want Cantonese programming? And Catholic worship services? I had to downthumb it chastisingly.

4. These questions tell you something about me. Not sure what, but something.

((P-C)) What everybody else has said. Looks like you have to make your own sanity, since you didn't inherit your mom's brand of crazy.

And really, I'm sorry to be rude and mean, but whatever separation anxiety and cultural loss of control she may be feeling? Not accounted for with this crazy.

Again, WHO thought the family unit was a good idea? Damned if I know.

Oh, beth, all best thoughts to your friend. All possible best thoughts.