Oh, P-C, I got distracted and forgot to say: try to remember from now on, you have independent confirmation from within the family that it's not you, it's your mom. Hang in there.

Word.

"It's cultural" has its limits. And *ding ding ding ding* it looks like you've found them.

t snuggles PC

t CHASTELY. Mrs. Cow

t Hmm.. just called your mother a cow

t did not mean this in an mean way

t or a reverent way, actually

1. P-C, that sucks beyond sucking. I'd give advice, but I think all I'd say is something to the effect of "Don't mind her; she's a daft old bat." So I won't.

2. I am grading exams. Donwanna. I have 29 more. I also have another 6 movie projects to grade. And my mom is going to see my place at 10AM, so I'd best clean it too.

3. Why does my Tivo think I want Cantonese programming? And Catholic worship services? I had to downthumb it chastisingly.

4. These questions tell you something about me. Not sure what, but something.

((P-C)) What everybody else has said. Looks like you have to make your own sanity, since you didn't inherit your mom's brand of crazy.

And really, I'm sorry to be rude and mean, but whatever separation anxiety and cultural loss of control she may be feeling? Not accounted for with this crazy.

Again, WHO thought the family unit was a good idea? Damned if I know.

Oh, beth, all best thoughts to your friend. All possible best thoughts.

P-C , sorry it has to take a family member to make the crazy obvious. It is nice that someone you don't nessicasrily get along with well confirms this.

I am not going to say what I am thinking now. I am irrationally angry at people that don't appreciate thier kids right now .

But you are an amazing person to have survived your family as well as you have.

I have a good online support system.

I dislike saying this because I know you don't want to cut yourself off from the rest of your family, but I think your mother needs a time out. A major time out, where once she realizes no one will see you if she doesn't back off, she may finally give up trying to manipulate you.

This isn't good timing because I really need to buy my ticket to come home for July 4, but I'm afraid that if I go home, she'll keep me locked in the closet. Maybe she'll have calmed down in three weeks. I don't want to shut everyone else out just because of her.

"It's cultural" has its limits. And *ding ding ding ding* it looks like you've found them.

I think it's kind of awesome because she's pretty much lost all credibility as far as her desires are concerned. I don't know how long it will take me to feel guilty again, but I think that may have been the most ridiculous thing she's ever said to me in my entire life.

Much ~ma for your friend, beth.

{{{P-C}}} There's nothing more frustrating than family at times.

It's time for Cat Talk!

Hubby was puttering about the house today when he heard my cat in the kitchen making his "I'm lonely, pay attention to me" noise. He said, "Well, come in here, you stupid cat."

For those who don't know, my cat is probably one of the undead. He lost most of his teeth long ago, his fur has worn off several of his joints and off his ears, and he spent over a year with an hole in his side the size of a quarter that never got infected and didn't heal until we moved. He's a mobile model of a cat skeleton with a thin layer of skin holding it all together, but he hangs in there.

My cat continues to make noises, and Hubby thinks it sounds odd, so he goes to the kitchen to investigate.

There in the kitchen is a full-sized German shepherd that sneaked through the partially open back door and who is now cornered by an old cat with no teeth and who weighs less than the dog's feet. The dog is terrified and whining. Hubby tells it to shoo, but it won't move. Hubby finally picks up my cat, and the dog bolts out the door.

Of course, if I was cornered by a lich-cat, I'd be terrified, too.

They called to discuss flights, and my mom said that what she was saying before, she wasn't angry, she was just...did I understand what I meant?

No, I said, tell me what you mean.

Common sense and common courtesy and all that.

I'm doing fine, I said.

No, I wasn't, she said. If I were doing fine, she wouldn't be hearing only complaints.

I told her my uncle had said he'd told her that I was improving, that I was doing fine.

That wasn't what she was hearing, she said.

Then listen better, I said.

No, she said.

You only ever hear the bad things, I said. You never care about the good things; all you care about are the bad things.

No, she said. When you borrow someone's car, fill up gas.

I've been doing that, I said.

She said that I'd brought the car home with a quarter-tank of gas, and when my uncle had asked why I hadn't filled it up, I'd said it didn't need it.

That was after the F2F. The reason I hadn't filled it up was that A) I was really tired coming home from Deb's house and B) I'd filled up Thursday night knowing I would use up most of the tank over the weekend. I did pay for the gas I'd used. I told her as much.

You do what you want to do, she said, not really meaning it, obviously.

It was kind of an interesting experience attempting to be calm and rational with her. And...not having her care very much.

Hey P-C, one thought; when you're talking with your mother, do you ever hear anything but complaints? Does she ever compliment you in any sincere fashion?

Yes. I do hear the few times she's actually proud of me, and they really make me happy. Problem is it's only a day or two before she complains about something and makes me feel like shit again.