GC, I like #1, 3 and 4, with #4 being my favorite. Also, the myspace link didn't work for me, either.

On the contrary, my dearest Bev, whenever I own wristwatches with a metal band, I find that, with daily wearing, the underside of the watchband becomes *severely* corroded in about 3-4 months. Also, bugs never bite me.

Dude! Sugar would totally do that!

Oh, beth, your poor friend! Much ~ma

Oh Christ Beth. Best wishes for your friend.

Okay, guys, I wasn't really convinced until now, but I am now confident that my mom is batshit. Fucking. INSANE.

I got the feeling my uncle was giving her the regular report on how I was doing when I got in the car. He had just finished up, and so he passed her off to me.

She started things off by telling me to buy my ticket to come home because the prices kept going up.

And then, without provocation, she started yelling me about having no common courtesy, how many times had she told me that if I borrow the car, I should fill up the tank (which, um, I had been doing), if someone does something for me, I should do something in return, how many times did she have to tell me, why wasn't I doing it? All she was hearing was complaints, never anything good. I kept saying I was an adult (which, um, I never actually say), but I wasn't acting like an adult; I was acting like a child.

And she didn't want to hear any of this "When I get a permanent position, I'm going to move out" business. The family wasn't some dirty, stinky people I had to get away from. I was not going to live on my own.

And then she told me I should just quit my job and move back home.

Yeah.

She'd let me live on my own in Michigan instead of coming back home, and that had been a mistake.

The entire time, I was pretty much rolling my eyes, hanging my mouth agape, and holding the phone away from my ear because she was so loud. My uncle finally took the phone and asked her why the hell she was yelling at me. So she hung up.

I explained to my uncle (my mom's brother) what she had said, and I cried and I cursed and I cried and I cursed and I cried and I cursed. He was just as baffled as I was because he had told her I was improving. He didn't care about the gas thing, don't worry about that. And the moving out thing was just ridiculous because as I've said before, I thought I had been pretty clear with everyone that that had been the plan all along. Hell, my dad himself had told me that was the plan. He had told my uncle that was the plan. Live with them for a few months until I found my own place. My uncle, having known my mom for longer than I had, was used to her brand of insanity.

He told me not to let it get to me and to let it go. There was much bigger stuff to worry about in life.

Later, I engaged in the wonderful therapy that is turning the radio way the hell up and singing your lungs out while driving.

Best wishes and ma to B, beth.

thanks , -t. Hopefully Matt can go up and see him tomorrow. I think the worst part of it all is that dad won't be able to bring him home. Because there is just n o way he can care for him and work full time.

Lots of ~ma to your friend, Beth.

All kinds of -ma to B and his family, beth.

Oh, PC. So your crazy Uncle is the *sane* part of your family. I'm reluctant to comment on the status of other people's sanity for reasons I hope are not overly obvious. But you are an amazing person to have survived your family as well as you have.