As for husbands not "letting" wives do [whatever], honestly these days, I think that's a I'm-using-you-as-a-cop-out-okay-honey routine
I know I externalize money guilt onto Tom like WHOA. Like, I'll say that Tom will be pissed that I got this, and it's not that I'm not "allowed" to spend, but we have a budget, and I have to respect it, and I've mentally given Tom the thankless job as budget taskmaster because it is so hard for me to be self-disciplined. I think Hec probably caught a couple of my money guilt things when we were all out shopping on the Haight, cleverly disguised as "Tom's gonna be mad about THIS!"
It's not fair, and he doesn't deserve that. I am trying to be more responsible with money, but I guess I still rely on external cues more than my own choices/consequences.
Bah, I suck.
In the circle of women I knew in PA, it was completely acceptable to trashtalk their husbands, which really threw me.
This is one of the good things that I took away from the freak-ass church. My non-church friends who were married would often snipe at each other in public (and the wives sniped at the husbands as often as the husbands sniped at the wives, so it wasn't a husband-abuse thing), and trashtalk each other behind their backs.
So it really made an impression on me that the married folk in the FAC didn't publically bitch at each other, and didn't trashtalk each other in private. They *did* have fights, but they kept it to themselves, and not in front of a group of people. And they'd talk about their problems with close friends, but not in a trashtalk way.
That always impressed me, and it's something I mean to do if I ever acquire a spouse of my own.
Insanity! I usually like Willem Dafoe but he was way too broad as the Goblin. Compare and contrast with Molina's soulful Doc Ock.
Too BROAD?!? It's a comic-book movie! Not a Bergman movie!
Also the Spidey-Jesus imagery of 2 was way more compelling than Unca Ben's death scene.
The Jesus imagery made me roll my eyes for ever and ever. It SO didn't work for me. Because, as I said, it's a comic-book movie! No Jesus imagery! (Frankly, I think Jesus imagery in any sort of movie is a cliche.)
That was definitely a point against it in my book.
Oh Nora, I so wasn't talking about you!
(Or anyone, here.)
This is my mother. And if he won't leave her, then she's never going to change.
I guess my point was that, in my particular history, what seemed like unreasonable and bitchy behavior - well, it was bitchy, but not actually unreasonable.
I'm trying to think of an example that won't require mounds of backstory. But it's simple stuff, like refusing to ever give a straight answer to requests. I.e., "could you pick up the dry cleaning on the way home?" gets you "yeah, I can probably do that." Nothing, right? Except - totally unhelpful. If you can't, say so. If you can, say so. Either would be fine. This way, I have no idea if you'll do it or if I need to make other arrangements.
I'm not talking about a situation in which there might be actual logistical uncertainties so that you couldn't say for sure whether you'd make it before they close. This is not wanting to commit in advance of knowing - I don't know, whether you'll feel like it. It's a control thing at heart. And say it's not something usually insignificant like drycleaning, says it's picking up the kids, or meeting the train, or stopping to get a prescription; maybe it's about whether the kids can have the car on Saturday or if rides will need to be arranged.
Then you multiply that kind of behavior over many years, and suddenly someone's flipping their lid over a silly question - "are you going to be home on time on Tuesday?" or something, and to all appearances it's the person bitching and moaning who's the unreasonable one, not the poor man who only said "well, I'll try."
All of this is way to long a way of saying, uncomfortable as it is, it's hard to know who's actually doing the provoking and sniping when a relationship is showing its ugly side. And that's really just a general statement, since obviously I know nothing about Raq's friends or Jars' mom or any other specific cases. I'm just using my own history as a example, not meaning to imply any universality.
Oh Nora, I so wasn't talking about you!
No, I know. It's been bugging me since I did that to the extent I did in SF. In front of people! (not only Hec but Tom's boss's wife!) I'm so ashamed.
also, premenstrual. Let us not forget that.
Frankly, I think Jesus imagery in any sort of movie is a cliche.
[insert snarky Passion of the Christ joke here]
Ignoring the Spidey and relationship conversations cause they make my head go explody.
I have returned to my OTT (one true tag). I think by now y'all know who I am/was. Anyway, UPS has my laptop "out for delivery". It should be at my house ANY TIME NOW.
I am NOT A PATIENT PERSION.
[insert snarky Passion of the Christ joke here]
Dude, the Christ imagery in TPotC jumped the shark....
