I hadn't even thought of that when I simply agreed with her, and it's a slippery slope when you begin lying to your mother.
Hmm. I wouldn't think of it as lying to parents, because, if it were me my assumption would be that it is none of my parents' business who I kiss, and I'd be fine and dandy telling them that my thrice-kissed lips and the rest of me were A-OK. And I am a shitty liar.
There is a crucial difference between open line of communication/honesty and no-boundaries, must share everything, when the child in question is, in fact, an adult.
So, you know, don't beat yourself up, my friend. You're not lying to your mom. You're living your life and you're entitled to keep some boundaries and privacy while doing so.
Deena and Nora speak for me, with the mommy issues and the autonomy and the boundaries. Yes.
{{{Teppy}}}
Deena, can you link me to that bead website you like next time you come here for a mental break? Good luck with work.
Oh, yes, that's what I meant, what Nora said! Nora, you speak for me today, okay? I'm going to actually work now. For at least 10 minutes.
Yay, sj! Another excuse not to work!
[link]
You're living your life and you're entitled to keep some boundaries and privacy while doing so.
So very much this. Nora can speak for me today, too.
I'm going to actually work now. For at least 10 minutes.
Ready? Set? Go!
"yes, Mom, yes, Mom" seems more do-able than "Mom, this is really none of your business."
I don't know, Sunil. Once I started dating, I didn't lie to my parents so much as not tell them everything. They didn't need to know every person I spoke to or flirted with or kissed--and it really wasn't their business. I think if you tell her when you are seriously interested in someone, that's enough.
ETA: Or what everyone else said while I was typing htis post, only they did it better.
Yay, sj! Another excuse not to work!
Happy to help! Thanks for the link.
I wouldn't think of it as lying to parents, because, if it were me my assumption would be that it is none of my parents' business who I kiss, and I'd be fine and dandy telling them that my thrice-kissed lips and the rest of me were A-OK. And I am a shitty liar.
But it's different for you. You're not ostensibly on the arranged marriage track, and you haven't gone ahead and given your mom the impression that you're heeding her restrictions because you're extremely non-confrontational and you don't want to unleash some scandal that will defile the family name.
I guess I should stop complaining about this shit. I don't really have a right to when I don't have the fortitude to leave my family or whatever.
