I'm a big believer in the idea that people very often don't know the real reason they do things, but just rationalize their behavior after the fact.

Oh, me too. And I'll go dig up the book now to see if I'm remembering it accurately, heh.

ETA: Crumbs, it's not here. Which means it's either at my mom's, or I lent it to someone. How irritating.

A hero type martyr does it out of pure altruism, expecting nothing in return.

I'm thinking of people who set themselves on fire in protest. That's pretty explicitly an attempt to manipulate people, but it can still have an altruistic intent.

RIP Paul Gleason . He played the principal in "The Breakfast Club" and the bad guy private investigator Clarence Beeks in "Trading Places."

Alert: M'n'Ms has come out with special promotional Pirates of the Caribbean M'n'Ms. They are jewel-toned and some had tiny skulls and crossbones on them. How could one resist!?

I was in desperate need of a nap. I got 30 minutes; woken by phone call (unanswered); 30 minutes; woken by 2 phone calls (unanswered); 15 minutes (answered the goddamned phone.) mr. flea and Casper are still asleep after an hour and a half.

This is probably why I need naps in the first place.

As a clinically depressed person, I've heard the dark voice of the black hole calling me. I only attempted to kill myself once and it was a pretty lame attempt. I've thought about it more. I was on my way to planning when I decided to try getting help. That's probably why I'm still alive.

I think most people who seriously attempt or succeed at suicide or murder/suicide are depressed = crazy.

Sane people want to live and have survival instincts.

RIP Paul Gleason . He played the principal in "The Breakfast Club" and the bad guy private investigator Clarence Beeks in "Trading Places."

Aw. 67 is too young. (I bet you know him from somewhere else, Narrator...)

Yes, I do indeedy, Topic!Cindy. Many years ago he was on "All My Children."

I googled his picture (because I could only imagine the face of the principal from Ferris Bueller's Day Off, and knew that wasn't him). The wiki entry on Gleason has his Soap Opera Digest covery.

I went up to the little Stone Zoo in Stoneham this afternoon, to look at baby jaguars, who were out and very active, which included not quite balancing on top of a log, pouncing on each other's tails, and wrestling. If you'd cued them to perform for the visitors they couldn't have done any better.

Being midday on the hottest day yet this year, the majority of the animals were snoozing in strategicly hidden spots ("Look, over there! I think I see an ear!") but it was still fun. There was a regally-posed mountain lion, who treated us to some big yawning, so that we could see all his teeth.

There were also bats, including some gigundass Malayan Flying Foxes.

Rain! Thunder! Rain!

And 10 minutes ago I was thinking of heading out for a walk.

Thanks, typo, beth and 'suela. I almost deleted the post because I thought it might be misinterpreted or be too intense. Basically, I was trying to give my personal background with suicidal ideation so that I could present my "cred" when talking about the relation some suicides have to aggression and passive-aggressiveness.

I've been on anti-depressants since late last year and they've definitely helped me manage things. I hate the side-effects and I hate the idea that I might have to take anti-deps the rest of my life, but I have to say they've been very useful in helping me deal with the culmination of 3 years of extreme stress on top of my normal level of depression. I feel pretty average right now and was posting in a very matter-of-fact way about my experience.