know what I want? pie.

Are you a good little kitten who's found her mitten?

I'm a cranky tired woman who wants sugar. similar?

I'm a cranky tired woman who wants sugar. similar?

I think so. Will pie make you happy as a kitten?

I watched Bones. Which may have been inadvisable, given the topic.

Hope isn't a thing with feathers. Hope is a bitch. You have it, then you don't and the lack is a crushing cruel thing.

I'm really exhausted by this rollercoaster. I had 5 hours today of zen. Then it fell apart. I hate my brain for that. I hate that I'm prone to expect the worst and plan out the details and contingencies, and then to be derailed by hope. And then for that to fail. AHRG.

And I really want peanut butter, but I'm tired of the painful zits.

And I really wish someone would fix that cat who is in heat outside because the cries of the males are killing me. I know it is biology, but the cries are horrid when I'm dealing with a miserable cat, even at a distance (5 miles. I hope he's sleeping.)

I am sure he is sleeping and having happy cat dreams. The vet folks love him dearly and will keep him comfortable and well cared for.

I am sorry you are rollercoastering.

Snakes on a Blog LJ icon contest winners: [link]

Note number 13, "Snakes on a Jayne." Should maybe be called "Snakes on a shirtless Jayne."

x-post with Firefly.

If nothing else, I know the staff adores him. They don't recognize MY name, but when I say Mister Kitty, there are immediate coos and other sounds of pleased recognition.

I'm in a relatively zen space now. Mostly. Sort of in between or I wouldn't be posting. Kinda had the last rollercoaster down on the phone with my mom, who gets how absolutely insane I am about my pets. I realize a lot don't really get it. Which makes it hard to explain why I had to close my office door today.

She didn't freak when I basically passed out when Sky was killed in front of the house when I was 9. She's not going to freak out when I sob out stuff and blow my nose while on the phone.

It's so weird, I felt so stupid for it for those hours this afternoon. And then it slammed back with a vengeance and I can't distance myself.

I do not think it is stupid. I'm a mess just thinking about it. WIth Baxter? A disaster. for about a week. Then still teary months afterward. No need to feel stupid. It is who you are and it is lovely.

Thank you.

now where did I put the kleenex box?

Toldja I was in between. It's just weird, the vast space between when I am ok and when I'm not. They really can't recognize each other. There's a hope and an utter lack of. There is no medium.

I really hope this isn't making you go through Baxter again. Not with the same intensity. Urgh.

I am ok with Baxter now. It is not a problem. You just let yourself go where the emotion takes you right now. Also? this is late for you. go to bed.