I htink the other side of the coin is dating a too nice guy and trying to make one feel love for him because it "should" work.
She just... she just did the math.
Kaylee ,'Objects In Space'
Natter 43: I Love My Dead Gay Whale Crosspost.
Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.
Scrappy - Apr 06, 2006 7:57:43 am PDT #9116 of 10001
Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
Jesse - Apr 06, 2006 7:57:57 am PDT #9117 of 10001
Sometimes I trip on how happy we could be.
Oh, I've seen it. It's the women I know who feel like it's Time To Settle Down, and who doesn't want to settle down with a Nice Guy? Well, some of them, it turns out. Of course they want to settle down with a nice, good, guy, but not one for whom Nice is the definining characteristic.
§ ita § - Apr 06, 2006 7:58:24 am PDT #9118 of 10001
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.
I would guess this more often plays out as finding the too-nice guy and convincing yourself the fun and interesting doesn't matter.
That jibes with what I've seen. And then seeking the fun and interest elsewhere, if they can't convince themselves they don't need it.
lisah - Apr 06, 2006 7:58:44 am PDT #9119 of 10001
Punishingly Intricate
Wish I had known all this when I was in college....
What would you have done differently?
Trudy Booth - Apr 06, 2006 7:59:24 am PDT #9120 of 10001
Greece's financial crisis threatens to take down all of Western civilization - a civilization they themselves founded. A rather tragic irony - which is something they also invented. - Jon Stewart
See, I've never seen that. Which is why I ask. All the fixing women I've seen have been trying to quiet a guy down.
They're just better daughters than your and aimee. They exist.
Scrappy - Apr 06, 2006 8:03:45 am PDT #9121 of 10001
Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
Nice, in describing both men and women, sometimes means inoffensive, and that's not interesting in either gender. I don't think the defining adjective for any of my friends would be "nice." Although they are all good people.
If any "nice" buffista dudes are despairing, remember that good guys do find love. My BF is a real mensch and funny and fascinating, but he had been told he was "not exciting" by a long-term girlfriend. However, her definition of exciting included screaming, tearful fights and slammed doors and mine really, really doesn't.
§ ita § - Apr 06, 2006 8:05:40 am PDT #9122 of 10001
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.
I hope I've been careful in not saying nice, but stressing too-nice.
But I can say I've never been attracted to a guy whose most obvious characteristic was nice. Funny, and also nice. Fascinating, and also nice. Good in the sack, and ...well, who cares¹?
¹: Kidding. Of course I care. Really.
tommyrot - Apr 06, 2006 8:08:04 am PDT #9123 of 10001
Sir, it's not an offence to let your cat eat your bacon. Okay? And we don't arrest cats, I'm very sorry.
What would you have done differently?
I was totally convinced that women really wanted the nice guy. (In retrospect, I'm sure I was one of the nice but boring guys.)
I did very little dating in college.
Jesse - Apr 06, 2006 8:08:34 am PDT #9124 of 10001
Sometimes I trip on how happy we could be.
Yeah, I think the problem is when "nice" is the best thing you can say about someone. I mean, who would want to end up in a good relationship with somone who wasn't nice? But there's got to be more there.
And I have seen women bring really really lame guys to hang out with a group, and you can tell he's trying, but just isn't having fun. Edit: Which is as likely a fault of the match than the guy (or the group), but that's what I think of when I think of a woman picking a "too nice" guy and trying to make him more fun.
erikaj - Apr 06, 2006 8:09:58 am PDT #9125 of 10001
Always Anti-fascist!
ita should watch The Wire. Because: 1. Every Buffista should...it's got bigger arcs than Noah, y'all. 2. Detective Kima is a total badass cool chick that you do not want to fuck with.She's also gay and likes to step out on the gf, but hey...she can't have layers? But every time she breaks down the door to a stash house, I wonder "Gee, what's ita doing tonight?" 3. It's a visual novel...how cool is that? IM(limited) experience, "nice" is how your friends try to spin a boring schlemiel. Of course he is, but mostly cause he's not anything else, either.