Anya ,'Bring On The Night'
Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.
I would guess this more often plays out as finding the too-nice guy and convincing yourself the fun and interesting doesn't matter.
That jibes with what I've seen. And then seeking the fun and interest elsewhere, if they can't convince themselves they don't need it.
Wish I had known all this when I was in college....
What would you have done differently?
See, I've never seen that. Which is why I ask. All the fixing women I've seen have been trying to quiet a guy down.
They're just better daughters than your and aimee. They exist.
Nice, in describing both men and women, sometimes means inoffensive, and that's not interesting in either gender. I don't think the defining adjective for any of my friends would be "nice." Although they are all good people.
If any "nice" buffista dudes are despairing, remember that good guys do find love. My BF is a real mensch and funny and fascinating, but he had been told he was "not exciting" by a long-term girlfriend. However, her definition of exciting included screaming, tearful fights and slammed doors and mine really, really doesn't.
I hope I've been careful in not saying nice, but stressing too-nice.
But I can say I've never been attracted to a guy whose most obvious characteristic was nice. Funny, and also nice. Fascinating, and also nice. Good in the sack, and ...well, who cares¹?
¹: Kidding. Of course I care. Really.
What would you have done differently?
I was totally convinced that women really wanted the nice guy. (In retrospect, I'm sure I was one of the nice but boring guys.)
I did very little dating in college.
Yeah, I think the problem is when "nice" is the best thing you can say about someone. I mean, who would want to end up in a good relationship with somone who wasn't nice? But there's got to be more there.
And I have seen women bring really really lame guys to hang out with a group, and you can tell he's trying, but just isn't having fun. Edit: Which is as likely a fault of the match than the guy (or the group), but that's what I think of when I think of a woman picking a "too nice" guy and trying to make him more fun.
ita should watch The Wire. Because: 1. Every Buffista should...it's got bigger arcs than Noah, y'all. 2. Detective Kima is a total badass cool chick that you do not want to fuck with.She's also gay and likes to step out on the gf, but hey...she can't have layers? But every time she breaks down the door to a stash house, I wonder "Gee, what's ita doing tonight?" 3. It's a visual novel...how cool is that? IM(limited) experience, "nice" is how your friends try to spin a boring schlemiel. Of course he is, but mostly cause he's not anything else, either.
Of course he is, but mostly cause he's not anything else, either.
I've found that nice is also used when you can't think of anything (as opposed to anything else), and is sometimes used--or better said--wielded by guys with a chip on their shoulders about the nice v. bad dichotomy, and in that little defensiveness they're not that nice at all. Passive aggressive at best.
Erika, The Wire is definitely on my DVD to do list.
and is sometimes used--or better said--wielded by guys with a chip on their shoulders about the nice v. bad dichotomy
Years ago that sorta' applied to me.