Well, look who just popped open a fresh can of venom.

Xander ,'Empty Places'


Literary Buffistas 3: Don't Parse the Blurb, Dear.

There's more to life than watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer! No. Really, there is! Honestly! Here's a place for Buffistas to come and discuss what it is they're reading, their favorite authors and poets. "Geez. Crack a book sometime."


Barb - Feb 26, 2010 5:12:28 am PST #10953 of 28353
“Not dead yet!”

Heaven help us, the first book from Dellarte Press (AKA Harlequin Horizons, AKA Harlequin's vanity press) is up on Amazon.

[link]

Wren is marrying the man of her dreams just as soon as she returns from her trip to the Carolinas-on the first night there, all is changed in an instant. Why? Because the hero of my recently completed novel, Dargan's Desire, has mistakenly taken her virginity. Set in South Carolina in 1826 this fun and sensual, the book is woven with love and deceit. Teaching two people the ultimate meaning of honesty, passion, and devotion.

Charming, spirited, full of excitement and exquisitely beautiful, Wren is forced into a loveless marriage when a beast of a man who takes her innocence. Worldly and influential, Dargan Knight, feels as if he has been trapped by this sprite of a girl into a loveless marriage he will never be able to get out of. Then fate steps in to shake up both their lives when Wren realizes she is with child.

I guess the "author" didn't pay for the extra editing package. Or maybe she did. ::shudder::


Steph L. - Feb 26, 2010 5:23:47 am PST #10954 of 28353
this mess was yours / now your mess is mine

Uh.

That's horrific.


Gudanov - Feb 26, 2010 5:29:43 am PST #10955 of 28353
Coding and Sleeping

Now hold on. First of all, Dargan Knight is a great name. Second of all, you have to like that Wren takes her own virginity my mistake, right? I know I'm intrigued to find out, well okay, I'm completely uninterested, but it's still funny.


Jessica - Feb 26, 2010 5:38:58 am PST #10956 of 28353
And then Ortus came and said "It's Ortin' time" and they all Orted off into the sunset

Set in South Carolina in 1826 this fun and sensual, the book is woven with love and deceit. Teaching two people the ultimate meaning of honesty, passion, and devotion.

Wow. And that's just the blurb - I shudder to think about the poor mangled grammar in the book itself.


Amy - Feb 26, 2010 5:42:19 am PST #10957 of 28353
Because books.

The grammar and lack of talent there sound like every book I've ever copyedited for iUniverse.


Barb - Feb 26, 2010 5:42:51 am PST #10958 of 28353
“Not dead yet!”

The "reviews" killed me. All five-star, all mentioning how well the writer captured the essence of the South Carolina river setting. Family, friends, or local writers' group? Hmm...


Aims - Feb 26, 2010 5:48:25 am PST #10959 of 28353
Shit's all sorts of different now.

How does one mistakenly take someone else's virginity? Was he trying to put it in her purse?


Gudanov - Feb 26, 2010 5:49:49 am PST #10960 of 28353
Coding and Sleeping

How does one mistakenly take someone else's virginity?

You need to reread, she took her own virginity by mistake.


Barb - Feb 26, 2010 5:49:57 am PST #10961 of 28353
“Not dead yet!”

Clearly, it was a dark room and he thought she was some cheap trollop with whom he could enjoy a casual romp and it wasn't until the glitteriness of her hoo-haw was revealed, that he realized he'd just breached the ultimate fortress o'lurrrrrrve.

Or something like that.


Polter-Cow - Feb 26, 2010 5:52:09 am PST #10962 of 28353
What else besides ramen can you scoop? YOU CAN SCOOP THIS WORLD FROM DARKNESS!

You need to reread, she took her own virginity by mistake.

Only if Wren is the hero. Maybe the MAN is the hero! It's a misdirect!